by Rick Badman

Created on: April 10, 2010   Last Updated: November 07, 2010

One of the biggest problems with relationships today is there is little romance.   Sex is not romance.  A dog or cat in heat don't know what romance is.  Two dogs don't sit at an Italian restaurant and eat a single spaghetti and wind up kissing in the end.  They would more likely hump a leg instead. 

There are many differences between sex and romance.   Sex is at times dirty DVDs to give couples ideas of what to do next.  Romance is bringing a woman candy and flowers and taking her to a nice restaurant where they can do the "Lady and the Tramp" scene at the Italian restaurant.  Sex is what dogs do naturally. 

I've been in New Orleans a couple times.  Down there, the couples meet in seedy motel rooms where the channel with the best picture is the porno channel and the two have sex.  But if you're interested in romance, take a woman to a fine restaurant in the French Quarter and have a fabulous meal.  Or you could go to the restaurant I went to one time and order all-you-can-eat peel your own shrimp and share the order and the bowl you place the outer skin into. 

The conversations heard when a couple have sex often can't be shared with polite company while the conversations heard from a couple that is romancing one another is more like poetry than dirty limericks you find on restroom walls.  Sex is more like five minutes of heavy breathing and dirty words over the phone while romance is an hour or two of flowery words and often no words at all. 

Sex is like fast food.  You know what you want, you order it, you get in fast, and you get out fast.  But romance is like a meal that you have worked lovingly over for hours.  Everything must be right because one little flaw may ruin the entire meal.  One wrong word could ruin a romance.  Sex at times demands that your tongue do circus acts in the other person's mouth.  Romance at times demands that you use your tongue to shape words that fire passion in the mind. 

Sex is like football.  There is a lot of grabbing, grunting, and often illegal use of hands.  Romance is like figure skating in the Olympics.  It is full of emotion, graceful moves, and overall beauty that impresses others.  Romance is like Dick Button while sex is like Dick Butkus.  Romance is better suited for strains of Chopin while sex can be straining. 

So don't be fooled when a date suggests seeing a romantic movie.  If the couple would rather jump into the sack and have at it, it's a sex movie loosely disguised as a romance film.  But if the couple would rather take long walks in the forests or drives through the countryside as music from violins swells in the background, it is a romantic movie. 

Sex is gawdy costume jewelry you can buy at a discount store while romance is diamond jewelry you purchase at a jewelry store.  That could be why sex seems so cheap while romance is precious.    

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