by Cindy Woods

Created on: April 09, 2010

I vividly remember the night Matt and Sarah brought Kellen home from the hospital, from the first moment I held my little Kissy Face, the bond was formed. He smiled at me and I was completely in love with the little guy.

I was blessed to be able to spend the first couple weeks of his life with him, and several weeks in between the day he came home and the day they took him back to his birth mom. He was a part of our lives for almost five months. (April 11th he will be five months old.)

The birth mom had listed the biological father as deceased. We found out in December he had registered on a national website as being the possible father of Kellen. He was sent papers asking him to prove his identity and submit to a DNA test. A court date was set in January. He didn't show, our hopes climbed a little higher that the adoption would be finalized. The Judged set another court date giving him a second chance. February he showed up in court. The judged ordered him to submit to a DNA test. Another month went by.

The next court date had been set for April 27. Because the months had gone by and the potential father had not yet gone in to have the DNA test, we were all hoping the Judge would just dismiss the case. Then the kids received word from the lawyer he had gone into the clinic and submitted to the test. Later that day they were told the would not get the results for 24 hours. During which time we prayed and tried to hang on to the hope he was not the father. When we received the call the test was indeed positive our whole world came crashing down.

I cannot even describe the heartbreak we all felt yesterday when the ladies from the Adoption Agency drove away with my beautiful boy. He is my grandson and in my heart will forever be my grandson. I am thankful his birth mother has decided not to change his first name, especially for Kellen's sake since he already knows his name and looks directly at you when you say it. He knows Sarah and Matt as mommy and daddy. He has in the last few months developed distinct preferences on how he wants to be held, how he falls asleep. He had a routine, loves watching It's A Big World on cable, would spend an hour or more just jumping in his Jumpy seat.

He has the most gorgeous smile, and was beginning to actually laugh. I love the sound of a baby's laugh. Since yesterday we all keep listening to hear him, only to have to face the fact he is no longer here. It's difficult to walk past the nursery only to see his

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