by Vilie Farah

Created on: April 09, 2010   Last Updated: April 11, 2010

Just like every aspect of life, being a single teen girl has both its positive and negative aspects. Being a single teen is actually what you make out of it – the experience could be disastrously lonely or invigoratingly liberating.

I have mostly lived as a single teen girl. Being shy and excessively romantic stood in the way of getting invited to a date or moving on to more serious relationships with boys. I suffered intensely. Teenage years should be fun, they should be giving a girl the chance to experiment and enjoy her youthfulness. I was missing that chance and felt miserable.

Naturally, lacking a boyfriend affects self-esteem. A girl without a boyfriend will often end up feeling unattractive and unsexy. Teenagers are very susceptible to such influences. They need to blend in and to find their social circle. Peer pressure is very strong during these rebellious years. Having a boyfriend is one of the criteria that teenage girls use to evaluate each other. The lack of a boyfriend reflects negatively on one’s image.

I experienced all these social influences on my fragile, young back. Two options exist for a teenager in this situation – succumb to pressure or become a trend-setter. I decided to adopt the later strategy.

Why should being a single teenage girl be unsexy? Why should I feel miserable and lonely? If I am at peace with myself and find comfort in being single, then I should be accepted the way I am, without being judged and scrutinized.

I started evaluating my status in a new light. It gave me the freedom to act as I pleased, without being forced to offer somebody explanations and apologies. I was free to go out, to see my girlfriends or to spend an entire day lazily listening to music and watching romantic comedies.

I was free to experiment with my personal goals, my desires and hobbies. I had the time to perfect myself. Being single gave me the time to join clubs, travel and practice my hobbies. It gave me the chance to think carefully about my priorities. Most importantly – I was free to decide what I wanted in a partner, being spared the heartache of an early love gone bad.

Being a single teen girl can be a depressing and life-marking experience. Yet, it can become excessively possessive only if you allow it to. Each life situation can be examined in positive or negative light. I learned how to explore the positive aspect of my singlehood.

Most importantly, being a single teen girl allowed me to prolong my childhood. Teenagers today are eager to grow up too fast. They willingly step on the territory of adults – dating, engaging in promiscuous sex at a tender age, sometimes suffering its consequences. I had the opportunity to grow up gradually and painlessly.

I learned to deal with suffering. Beautiful things in life happen when you expect them the least. I knew that the time will come and I will have a boyfriend. But before that time came, I had already set my priorities and had managed to analyze the mistakes that my friends did. I was spared the fiasco of a premature relationship and I learned to extract the positive aspect of even the most depressing stage of my life. Could anything be better than that?

Learn more about this author, Vilie Farah.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.