by Valarie Topp

Created on: April 09, 2010

I walked over to the rotted bench and stared at my daughter with tear filled eyes.  Today is the seventeenth day that I have forced my five year old daughter to live on the streets with me.  I know that my baby does not understand what we are going through and why we now live like we do but I love her so much..I also know that it is so unfair for me to make her live on the streets like I am doing but I need her with my right now.. I know that I could call her father and ask him to keep her until times get better for me, but I don't want him to take her from me.   HHmmmm....Frank would love to take Katlin from me but my baby is all that I have left in this mean and cruel world..I don't even know how things spiralled so out of control..  It seems that one minute I was living in a nice and cozy two bedroom apartment, while working a fairly decent job as a receptionist and then I was homeless in the next instance.  I thought that my life was fine, which it was until my boss informed me that the company was broke and the doors to my job would be closed within a week.  I tried so hard to find another job but noone needed a middle aged receptionist with minimal computer skills.  Katlin opened her eyes at that very moment and  I lost my train of thought.  'Mommy.....I'm hungry...and cold.'  I sat next to my daughter and put her on my lap.  'I know baby....Mommy is going to find us something to eat.'   My daughter looked like she wanted to cry but she blinked her eyes and held her tears.  'Can we go in a building somewhere?'  I turned my head away from my baby and quickly wiped the lone tear that ran down my cheek as I stood up.  'Come on baby...We are going to get something to eat at the Shoney's down the street.'  My baby clapped her hands together like a happy seal and skipped next to me.  'OOoohh.....I'm going to get me some blueberry pancakes with lots of syrup.'  I patted the twenty dollar bill that was in my back pants pocket and smiled down at Katlin.  I knew that I couldn't afford to spend fifteen dollars for breakfast on my daughter and I but she deserved it.  I never realized just how strong my daughter was until I found myself rummaging through my belongings that had been removed from my apartment.  I'd just picked Katlin up from the babysitters down the street when I noticed that someone was walking out of my front door.  I ran over to the men carrying my couch to the curb and screamed.. 'What are you doing?'  The men looked at me and actually laughed.  'You haven't paid your rent and you didn't show up in court yesterday.'  I screamed.  'I had to work yesterday....I told Mr. Meaks that I had to work.'  The movers laughed like they didn't have a care in the world.  'Well......It's not our problem....We were given orders to set your stuff out on the curb and that is what we are doing.'   I wanted to lose control but Katlin tugged my hand and looked at me with the biggest smile on her face.   'You need to calm down mommy....Everything is going to be alright....We can get through this.'  I looked at my daughter and suddenly remembered that I'd spoken those same exact words to a friend of mine on the phone the other day.  Katlin was sitting at the dinner table eating cereal while I comforted a close friend on the phone.........

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