by Kate Frewerd

Created on: April 08, 2010   Last Updated: April 10, 2010

When your buddies tell you all the things they have learned about fatherhood it’s like they are telling you a joke without the punch line. For example, my buddy told me, “You will never forget the birth of your first child.” Awe, isn’t that sweet. NO! He never told you the reason why you won’t forget it! The reason is because it’s seared into your memory through shock and awe! I never realized how horrifying it is to watch something that size come out of the fun spot.

My other buddy told me, “Watch out for the terrible twos!” Okay, yeah, that sounds pretty bad. My son turned two and nothing happened. So, I thought, “Sweet, I’m in the clear. Then he turned four and all hell broke loose. I found out later that not all children get the terrible twos at two, and some don’t get it at all. My son is now thirteen; could someone tell me when the terrible twos end? He’s going on, oh about nine years now.

When my son was born my father said, “Being a father is very rewarding.” It took me a while to get what he was saying. Now that my son is older I found that my dad was right. It is very rewarding to have a “mini me” who can change the channel when the remote batteries are dead, or give him a dirty job when he has done something wrong, like picking up dog poop. Now it all makes sense why I had children in the first place, to do things that I really don’t have the energy to do anymore—very, very rewarding.

The day my daughter was born my mom said, “You’re going to have your hands full when that one gets older.” Mom, please elaborate? She just shook her head. My daughter is daddy’s little girl, but I wasn’t prepared for the training bras, the boys, her period or the attitude that came along with it. I was surprised that I cried the day my wife told me she was pregnant with our daughter. I’m a tough guy who doesn’t show his emotions. Now I realize I wasn’t crying because of joy. It was my 6th sense telling me what lay ahead.

The other things I have learned throughout my years as a father include:

-          When the dog is in the house dirty diapers should be hidden far at the bottom of the garbage bin.

-          When the kids aren’t loud and running around the house troubles a foot!

-           If you think you’ve finished cleaning the house you’re wrong.

-          The TV is not a good babysitter, because it will let the kids draw with permanent markers all over its face.

-          The words “I just wanted to help” are spoken almost as often as “It wasn’t me”.

-          Just when you think the kids are okay to use safety scissors, a new haircut appears!

As a father I look forward to telling my kids how great being a parent can be. I can’t wait to laugh with them.

(From the words of a, now, very smart man.)

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