by Renee Rotto

Created on: April 08, 2010   Last Updated: April 09, 2010

The death of a family pet can be devastating to everyone but children are particularly venerable to the grief because of not understanding what is happening.  When we explain the death of a pet we are actually explaining the circle of life.  What ways we handle the subject may depend on our own personal beliefs and ultimately may determine how we handle the subject of death as a whole.  

The Circle Of Life

When we explain the passing of a pet or for that matter the death of a loved one, a child should understand that death is a natural occurrence.  It is only natural that everyone is young once, gets old and passes.  Animals get sick and die and so do people.  That’s why it’s important to take care of one’s self the best we can.  We are here to make this life the best life we can live.  Making the most of everyday and living life to the fullest are big concepts for children, but these ideas are easier to grasp as a story. 

There are many good storybooks and movies to broach the subject and aid in the explanation of death to children.  Preparing a child for the death of a pet can be done simply by explaining death in the simplest of terms.  Maybe a bug on the sidewalk, or a plant that has died can be seen as simple examples.  It is important to note that not all illness will result in death, but sometimes things cannot be healed.  When this happens it may be said that it is, “their time.” 

Remembering The Good Times

When a pet passes it is important to say that we can still remember the good times we spent together with our pet.  Now the pet is not in pain or suffering so we should not feel sad for him.  It is all right that we will miss him but he will always be in our heart and we will always remember him.  Explain that when you miss him, just think of him running or playing and you can still be close to him. 

A Memorial

It might be a good idea to have a memorial ceremony for your pet.  This is where everyone in the family has some kind words to say about him.  Everyone can speak about the times they will always remember about him and how much they will miss him.  You might say, “You believe he is in a better place.” Or “Yes, Rover was a good dog and if any dog deserves to go to doggy heaven, Rover certainly does.” 

Another Pet

Sometimes it helps to get another pet.  Of course the new pet is not to be seen as a replacement for the lost pet but another to come share their life with the family.  “Because our family is sad, we would like to have a new puppy come to live here.”  Or, “This puppy needs a family and Rover told him about our family being sad and missing him so much, and asked him if he would come here and live with us.”    

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