by Trish Austin

Created on: April 07, 2010

The Psychiatrist spent about 30 minutes with me. Asking me some questions. He eventually prescribed Effexor. An anti-depressant approved by the FDA for Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I felt great. Apparently, too great. I had been thrown into a hypo-manic state by being placed on Effexor and no mood stabilizer. For 10 years, I felt better than I had felt in my whole life. Nothing got me down. I would get agitated and irritated. But, it wouldn't last . Mainly, I felt on top of the world. I was high level functioning. But, little did I know it would all come crashing down and I would visit a place I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy.

I went through a divorce when I was 39. Then, I was a single mom for 2 years. I remarried and moved within  1 year. I also changed psychiatrists during this time. Getting married and moving was a very happy time, but very stressful  for me too. The stress took its toll on my psyche. Somehow it seemed as if I woke up after the honeymoon and felt unhappy for no reason. Then,  my husband lost his job. This just deepened my depressive feelings. I had been spoiled in my life. I had never had money worries.

I went to my new Psychiatrist and Psychologist. With my candor and my Psychiatrist's talent. I remember her telling me about the the different types of Bi-Polar Disorders. When she said, "I think you may be Cyclothymic." It was no real shock to me. I already had a hunch that's what I had or Bi-Polar II. But, it hasn't been easy ride finding that place where I can say I feel good. The medications seem to work very differently on my brain than on most people. So, there's been a lot of tweaking of the medications  to keep me from slipping back into the wasted state of depression.

Cyclothymia and many other mental illnesses are very difficult to diagnose. It's imperative for anyone who believes that they may have a mental illness to go to a Psychologist, a Social Worker with a PhD. They can assess your situation and see if you need to got to a Psychiatrist. Then, they can direct you to a Psychiatrist. A Psychiatrist is a medical doctor  who specializes in psychotropic medications. This isn't the time to see your family doctor.

Take my disease, it is rarely diagnosed until the person has fallen into the depressive state of the disease. I was always seen as pleasant, charming, funny and energetic. The manic state is a nice place to be...however the depression can be horrific. So, a lot of times we're diagnosed with severe depression. But, then once we're on an antidepressant it will throw us into rapid cycling of moods. Since no mood stabilizer was added.

Or as in my case a mood stabilizer had been added, but it didn't work. So, back to the drawing board. My doctor already had a plan b, thank god. We've had to go back to the drawing board more than once. I took a medication once that had a very rare side effect. It could cause a potentially fatal rash. Did I get the rash? Yes. I called my doctor and she immediately said," stop taking it."

I've had medications make me gain 20 pounds in one month. Had to stop those. So, even though my diagnosis is correct ,I'm still fighting to find the right combination of medications that will help me feel good again. Although, my diagnosis was wrong, I miss that energetic, positive, happy 35 year old.

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