by Dorothy Hoffman

Created on: April 07, 2010

Leo Tolstoy once wrote that happy families are all alike, but every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. Likewise, there are probably nearly as many bad reasons to get married as there are bad marriages. Still, most bad marital choices fall into a handful of general categories:

It’s What You’re Supposed to Do

It’s never a good idea to make important life decisions based on what you think society, your family or your friends expect you to do. This is certainly true for a decision that will affect the rest of your life and the life of your partner. We’re all subject to society’s expectations, to some degree, but not everyone is cut out for marriage, and not everyone who is has had the opportunity to meet the right person by the time she thinks she “should” be married and working on a family.

Some people also marry the wrong person because of social pressures. Childhood sweethearts often grow apart as they grow up. But they may feel marriage is simply the path of least resistance if everyone around them assumes the childhood friends were “made for each other.” Giving into this kind of social expectations is usually ill-advised and can led to very unhappy marriages.

Economic Security

Women (and some men) may get married because they want someone support them or to give them a higher standard of living than they could manage on their own. Men may consider getting married cheaper and easier than hiring a full-time cook and housekeeper to take their mother’s place. Couples also sometimes marry to take advantage of insurance benefits and tax breaks not available to singles living together. If your only reason for marrying is financial benefits, your marriage will not be built on a solid foundation.

Unexpected Pregnancy/ Children from Previous Marriage

No one would argue that children are generally better off with two positive parental figures than one struggling to keep the family intact and make ends meet. And it’s certainly easier for two parents to raise a child than for one to juggle family and work alone. But marrying to avoid the social stigma or economic hardship of single parenthood is probably not a good idea – at least not if you have no other reason to merge your life with another’s “for better or worse.”

Socially Sanctioned Lust

Animal attraction no doubt brings many unsuitable couples together, and if they’re satisfied with a brief, passionate relationship

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