As the oldest recorded civilization, Mesopotamia left many institutions that have influenced those of later civilizations down to today. As one of these institutions, much of the Mesopotamian family will appear familiar to modern students of their history. But, while they laid the foundation for the western concept of family, many facets of their family life have evolved into our modern concept of family.
As the core of Mesopotamian civilization, the family took on distinct customs that affected the economy, government, and religion of the many Mesopotamian civilizations. Generally, a family consisted of a husband and wife and their children. However, the man, especially if wealthy, could also have concubines.
Women did not share equal rights with men in Mesopotamian society. Some historians believe that in the area’s earliest history, the city-state’s government consisted of somewhat democratic councils made up of both men and women. However, women gradually lost their influence as government shifted to monarchy, and women became inferior to men in the sight of the law.
Through most of Mesopotamia’s history, women were either attached to their father or to a husband. No truly free status existed for women, as the dominant male in their life controlled most of their affairs. Women usually married after the onset of puberty, and a custom developed in which the husband paid for the right to marry a man’s daughter.
Almost all marriages were arranged without input from the girl, and once engaged, the law considered her as part of the fiancée’s family. If the man died before the marriage ceremony took place, she then married one of his brothers.
Women generally learned skills that they used in marriage. Housekeeping became the most common of the occupations of women, and they spent most of their time taking care of the house, caring for children, and cooking. However, in wealthier families, women could learn to read and write, and often managed their husband’s business affairs when he left for business or war.
Men generally engaged in a trade fitting their social class. Most men worked on wealthier Mesopotamian’s farms and had only one wife, since they could not afford concubines.
Others engaged in trade or military pursuits, and their spouses often ran their domestic affairs while they traveled afar. Many of these wealthier men would also keep concubines, many of whom were slaves, but the first wife always retained a place of primacy in the family.
While married, a woman could own property separately from her husband. She could manage this property and retain any income from it. However, this rarely occurred in marriages outside of the wealthiest classes.
In some city-states, women served as priestesses and held a very high social rank. Generally, these women did not marry. In some Mesopotamian cultures, men would visit these women as prostitutes, which society not only condoned, but considered an honorable fulfillment of religious duty, regardless of the marital status of the man.
No matter how many concubines a man owned, the wife always held the highest rank within the household according to the law. Largely, the institution of marriage intertwined with property laws, and served as a means of determining inheritance.
Children of the husband and wife inherited the property of the man, with the other children by concubines taking only property that they received during the father’s life as gifts. Children from concubines could also have a start in business or government if their parents came from higher social classes
As time progressed, the rights of women tended to diminish in Mesopotamian society. During the rise of the Assyrian Empire, new laws required women from elite classes to wear a veil, which has since become customary for many Middle Eastern cultures.
Laws also favored men’s supremacy over their wives. Men could divorce wives for wasting their property, belittling the man, or going out without permission. Women could receive a death penalty for adultery. No similar provisions allowed women to obtain divorces from men, and male adultery became commonplace and acceptable to the Mesopotamians, unless it involved another man’s wife.
Mesopotamian families provided the building blocks for their society, and also for those of many cultures that latter emulated them. The basic concept of a husband-wife unit still persists across the world in contemporary times, although the rights of women have greatly expanded over the course of time. As with much of the Mesopotamian’s innovations, their family structures continue to impact societies, even in modern times.
Albert Craig, et. al., The Heritage of World Civilizations
W.F. Saggs, Everyday Life in Babylonia and Assyria