by L.S. Watts

Created on: April 06, 2010

Do you have a child that frequently argues with adults? Does your child loose his temper easily? Then he may also purposely refuse to comply with the simplest of requests. Perhaps the child blames you or others for their own behaviors? The child is full of rage and resentful toward those around him. Parents feel helpless and unsure of what to do or who to turn to for help. Fortunately, there is a way to help children who have a habit of arguing with adults.

The first step is to find out the root of the problem. Is this a new behavior or one that has been building over time? If it is a new behavior, try to find out what has happened recently in the child’s life. Could it be stress at school? Could it be changes within the family? Communication is crucial to finding out what is causing this defiant disrespect.

If this is a problem that has been building over time, you may want to consider professional help. There could be an underlying medical or mental problem. Therapy and possible medication may be helpful in this case. However, realize that it isn’t just about therapy for the child. It process for the entire family.

Once you have ruled out any possible medical issue, it is time to re-examine your parenting skills. Children don’t come with instructional manuals but there is a way to eliminate undesirable behaviors such as arguing in a disrespectful manner.

First you must lead by example. Yelling and being disrespectful when you argue show the child that this is the way to disagree with something. Show them how they can disagree in a respectful manner. The entire family must be in compliance with a rule of no yelling.

Show your child that conflict can be resolved without having tempers flaring. If the argument becomes heated, calling for a time out for everyone involved is a good idea. This allows people to calm down to be able to return later to the argument without allowing emotions to rule the responses.

Show the child that in some cases, they may have to compromise to come to an agreeable solution. We all have to do things that we don’t want to do such as household chores, homework and working but we still have to do them. It is okay to disagree, but sometimes a person has to buck up and just get things done.

Also try to teach your child to see outside their own perspective. Anyone who can see an argument from other perspectives can argue with more respect. They will be more sensitive to other people’s feelings when trying to

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