by Cynthia Stodolka

Created on: April 05, 2010   Last Updated: April 07, 2010

A real friend ,is a process that takes a long time to develop between two people. The process, is the meshing of two souls through several different phases of development.

A hard core, unconditional, severe friendship, is a bond that has to bloom and grow over a long time frame. A friendship is not something that is made in a short period of time of knowing the person to whom you are connecting with.

The beginning of a friendship is like the conception of  the fetus in the womb. The seed is planted ,  the two individuals begin to socialize.

They discover many similar things about each other that they both share, or have an interest in. Activities they enjoy doing together they at least share some values, and may have similar goals, likes and dislikes.

Over time ,a platonic affection develops, if they are not  romantically involved with each other.

As the relationship develops, they become better friends, it  then moves into a phase of learning to trust each other. Trust is the lifeline or the heart of what a real friendship is based on. The birth of trust between the two friends sets the psychological process in motion.

The psychological process involves the acceptance of the the persons sincerity as a friend. Trust has been born, and the person accepts the fact that he knows this person has his best interests at heart. That he is not out to use him, he cares about his welfare and well being.

He can share  with his friend his inner feelings. pieces of his life, his joys and sorrows. His wants and needs. Sucess's and failures.

In turn, his friend will offer him his opinions and support. He will strive to give back his understanding and acknowledgement that he understands,  that he accepts and wants to nurture his friend. His response is real and unconditional ,a true friend.

The Psychological process leads to the emotional development between the two friends. A certain kind of bond has been born.

This emotional bond leads to a process called love. It is a platonic love. However, it is a strong love, a true friendship.

This love is based on devotion, acceptance, respect, forgiveness when appropriate, sharing of ones self with the other person. Being there when the duties of the friendship call for it. Being non judgemental and non prejudice.

This process takes months to get to this level. Time is the key factor in the birth of true life long friendships. The motto of a true friendship is "do no harm". Which means never do anything unkind or to harm the love you share with your friend.

To add the final definition of what a real true friend is, it can be said that a true friend is someone who stands by you, accepts you as you are with your human faults, as well as your strengths. Helps you when you need it at any time. Takes from you, but gives back to you as well.

Always be the best you can be to your friend. If this done you will have a friendship that is timeless. Perhaps that will be there through infinity.

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