by Susan Coils

Created on: April 03, 2010

Whether you forgive a spouse for cheating or not depends upon a few different things. Nobody can say that it's right to forgive or not forgive in a sweeping, generalised statement. Relationships are personal to the people within them, and cheating within a relationship must be dealt with by those people and nobody else.

Before you decide whether to forgive them, you should first ask yourself a couple of questions.

1 => Do you love your spouse? If so, then you will want to get past the pain and hurt of being cheated on and forgiveness is a necessary part of the process of doing this. You cannot continue in a relationship with someone, no matter how much you love them, if you can't trust them. And you can't trust someone if you're constantly waiting for them to cheat on you again. Forgiveness helps you restore the trust in the relationship. It isn't the only thing to restore it, but it certainly is the first step.

2 => Does your spouse love you? Many people think that when a partner cheats on them it means that they don't truly love them. Unfortunately, cheating isn't really related to love. People cheat for all sorts of reasons. Perhaps it was a one night stand, maybe they were having some self esteem issues and were just flattered by the fact that someone else was paying them some attention. Oftentimes, particularly in long term relationships, we forget to tell our partners how much we love them, or how attractive they are, or how good they make us feel. While there is no excuse for cheating, it doesn't mean that your partner doesn't love you. It can just be a reflection of the fact that they have a low self esteem.

If you're able to forgive your spouse for cheating, that in itself is a huge boost to their self esteem and can help to ensure they don't need to go searching for confidence boosters with someone else ever again!

When two people love each other, then forgiveness becomes much easier. Think of other things your spouse may have done. There are bound to be lots of things you have forgiven each other for in the past, and there will be countless times when you will forgive each other again in the future. Being unfaithful is the most horrible act of deception you can do to someone and it leaves the innocent party with scars that can take years to heal.

But if you love each other, then forgiveness is much easier and it can leave you both stronger and happier in your future relationship. If you can survive infidelity in a relationship, you can survive anything the world can throw at you.

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