by Rena Sherwood

Created on: April 01, 2010

Suicidal thoughts are powerful.  They don’t even have to dwell on the act of dying or the questionable promise of relief death may bring.  Suicidal thoughts can be of anything that triggers emotions of bone-cracking despair that repeats again and again as if caught on a permanent mental loop.

I'm having such thoughts now.  The pain of heartbreak and failure are so great that if someone should burst into my home brandishing a gun, I'd gladly stick my head right up against the nozzle.  But I've been through these thought-storms before and I know they will pass.  I've had suicidal depression since I was a child.  Here are some strategies I have devised in that time to keep me alive. 

Create Something

It doesn’t have to be a work of art or even something you'd want to show to anyone else.  Just do something for yourself.  For me, my best outlet is writing.  For others, it could be telling jokes, singing, making music, sculpting, doodling, painting, gardening, cooking, dancing, cleaning part of a room, flower arranging, scrapbooking or redecorating.  Just get busy.

Dr. Abraham A. Low, founder of Recovery, Inc (now known as Abraham Low Self-Help Systems) highly encourages depressed or overwhelmed patients to "move your muscles."  Once you start moving, it's easier to continue moving.  My particular thoughts make me feel very heavy, as if the planet's gravity has ramped up tenfold.  But I when I had to crawl off to the bathroom, that forced my body to move.  Soon, I was at the keyboard.

Listen to Others

When weighed down by suicidal thoughts, I do not want to talk to anyone.  But this can make it an excellent time to listen.  People seem to subconsciously know when they are being listened to.  I seem to have a gift for getting all of the woes and secrets of complete strangers.  But you may have the gift of being able to comfort a friend or co-worker with just your presence and sympathy.

If you feel that you cannot handle human company, switch on the television or open up the newspaper.  See or read about animals or people who have it worse than you do.  Don’t do it to make yourself feel guilty.  Each person's mental pain level is different.  What could torture you could make someone else laugh.  But it helps you get your mind off of that endless loop about your problems.

Think About Who Would Find Your Corpse

Suicide just doesn’t affect you.  It also affects anyone connected to you.  Think very seriously about whom would be the person to find your corpse.  Or, if you live alone, think about what family member or beloved friend would have to come down to the morgue to identify your body.  Think of what the sight of you dead and possibly decaying would do to that person you care about.

Reach Out

If these three activities do not help – creating something, listening to others and thinking about who would find your body, then you need to reach out for help.  If you have been through the suicidal storm before, you have a good strong memory bank to draw upon where things did get better when everything seemed hopeless.  You may just need someone to remind you about this.

Call a friend, call a relative, call your doctor – even call emergency services if you have no one else to turn to. 

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