by Mark Morris

Created on: February 24, 2007   Last Updated: April 25, 2007

Is it okay to spank? How about we turn this question on its head? Is it okay to send a child out into the world without proper discipline to wreak havoc on unsuspecting innocent bystanders?

In the debate over whether to spank a child or not I feel that a very important factor is being overlooked. What are we trying to accomplish as parents? Is our end goal really blind obedience? I believe that it is my job as a parent to raise my children into adulthood. To progressively hold them accountable to the values that we have established in our family to be beneficial.

A wise Hebrew king named Solomon once said that the fear of the lord was the beginning of wisdom. What did he mean by that comment? Surely he was not suggesting that only those that walked in sheer terror were able to understand things deeply. Solomon was referring to a deep respect for God's authority. The knowledge that God's correction would be certain and consistent.

As the oldest of seven children, all of whom are productive, married, tax paying citizens, and the father of seven children, who by all accounts are some of the most enjoyable kids you could ever meet, I consider myself to be something of an expert on early childhood development. After all isn't the corner stone of science observation?

For instance it is my sons responsibility to feed his dog. Being a ten year old be he frequently must be reminded. When he is reminded his response is generally one of cheerful obedience, he has just forgotten. So, should I spank a child for behavior like this?

On the other hand one of my other two sons is four years old and has recently rediscovered the use of his teeth as a weapon. Upon finding marks on his two year old sister that required ice and much attention to soothe, what should I do? Do I set him in a chair and listen to him wail? Do I talk to him until I am blue in the face and his eyes glaze over from boredom? Do I take away a toy or special privilege? In his young mind these ploys will of course be satisfactory in the short term having the desired effect of making him "sorry" for what he has done, but in my observation (science, remember) will provide little lasting deterrent to future incidents.

Back to my original quote, in my youth there were times when my parents felt it right to correct my behavior with the use of corporal punishment. I was never beaten, or received any lasting marks on my person and I believe I am a better person for it, let me explain. My parents set up guidelines that we were expected to follow. As long as we stayed within the boundaries we were free to make choices. We knew where the line was and what would occur if we crossed it. That "fear" of authority was, I believe, the beginning of my understanding of cause and effect and kept me out of a great deal of trouble.

My wife and I have similar policies. We seldom use corporal punishment, but in the case of egregious crimes such as violent physical assault (the biting incident) lying in a way that endangers someone, or continued behavior deemed inappropriate which is not corrected by other means we do spank our children. I hope that by instilling a healthy respect for my authority I can at the very least assure then they will not have to be dealt with by THE authorities.

In most modern minds I think it comes down to this: is the potential for psychological or emotional trauma that is touted as the reason for abstaining from corporal punishment outweighed by the benefits to society as a whole of having one more respectful, thoughtful and well behaved human being in the ranks? So what's it going to be? Are you raising them to be kids, or responsible human beings. Remember, scripture teaches us that God disciplines the son he loves.

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