by PK Hawk

Created on: March 31, 2010   Last Updated: April 12, 2010

Restraining Orders against violent or abusive spouses is an issue open to much debate. It is generally recommended by attorneys and law enforcement  that anyone with a violent spouse get a Restraining Order. However;  There is no guarantee that it will really prevent a very determined person from violating the order. It is probably wiser to obtain a restraining order than not, especially if a wife of a husband has either been threatened or injured in the past by their spouse. Err on the side of caution is a good rule to follow.

Unfortunately, law enforcement agencies cannot possible watch over a threatened person twenty-four hours a day.  It is advised that anyone who has been injured by their spouse, either mentally, emotionally, or physically seek professional medical care, and to be sure the injuries are well documented. This will be helpful in acquiring a restraining order. Wilt a restraining order in place, at least you also have a record of your having had previous problems with the person named in the restraining order.

The plaintiff (injured spouse) must have the restraining order on their person at all times, as not every attack will take place at the residence. If the violent/abusive spouse violates the restraining order, and the police can get there before anything has happened to the complaining spouse, the spouse with the restraining order must show it to the law enforcement officer(s) before they can actually arrest the offending person.

In many well publicized cases, people who have had restraining orders against a violent, or threatening spouse have been killed before help can be called. There are also well documented cases of violent spouses kidnapping and even killing their own children, or stepchildren in such cases, as well. These are desperate people, and desperate people do desperate things. 

There is always a "pro and con" side to any argument, but this one is something you really need to be prepared to act on. If you do get a restraining order, you must be prepared to take the appropriate steps to keep yourself out of harm's way.

We have all heard "Women's Shelter" for assistance hiding from a violent spouse. These organizations have safe houses that where they hide someone where no one will know where they are hiding.

It is of utmost importance that anyone who may be in need of such help NEVER give information to anyone about where they are staying. 

The restraining order may make a violent spouse be more careful and more angry than they may be already. These people do not have a balanced view of the situation as it is.  Anyone who needs to get a restraining order should be prepared to make a lot of changes in their life. Just think, if you cannot trust this person now, what will stop them from violating the restraining order? They are more angry than they are afraid of getting in trouble.  Many times, they will blame their victim, saying they pushed them into doing whatever they do. This is part of the symptom of an abusive or violent person.

One should never think the restraining order alone will prevent the violent person from bothering them. One must take steps to stay where the violent spouse cannot find them. There are groups all across the country that help victimized spouses vanish. It can also be a very difficult thing if on is going through a divorce, as the court will order certain things to be in effect. It is advisable to consult with an attorney, for help in these situations, as well.

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