by Adele Gregory

Created on: March 28, 2010

The only thing that can ensure conflicts will never arise in your workplace is chloroform.  When adult mammals have to share a common territory for any length of time, there’s   likely to be disagreement sooner or later.  Clearly defined roles and expectations together with fair and reliable leadership practices can prevent many conflicts, but not all of them. Yet not every dispute becomes a full-blown, damaging conflict. The difference lies in how quickly people can arrive at an equitable resolution, and whether the disagreement has escalated or spread into other areas.

If you’re a manager dealing with conflict in your team there are two paths you can take. One is arbitration, where you step in with your solution. The other is mediation, where you assist the parties involved to form their own agreement.  Either way, there are certain guides to conflict management to bear in mind.

Hearing Everyone Out

People in conflict need to tell their stories. It does more than let them vent their feelings. Describing an experience from start to finish helps people organize their thoughts and notice how things fit together. Ideally, the stories are told in each other presence with each part having a certain amount of “uninterrupted time” before any exchanges begin. Even if you need to meet people separately, it’s good to allow each person some uninterrupted time to complete their story before you make any interventions. 

Focus on the Future

People’s stories will be about the past, but agreements and resolutions are always about the future. After everyone has said his or her piece, the emphasis should shift to where things go from here and what needs to happen to bring the matter to a close. One of the keys to conflict management is helping people turn their attention to the future and how they want things to be.

Attention to Actions

Issues brought up in conflicts are often a jumble of facts, feelings, assumptions and interpretations. You might hear words like “respect”, “consideration” or “fairness” bandied about, but these are abstract concepts which mean different things to different people. To manage a conflict, you need to know what someone DOES that their co-worker interprets as disrespectful. That’s the only which part which can be observed, proven or changed.

Pointing Out Common Ground

People in conflict can get so used to seeing each other as opponents that

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