by Jennifer Eblin

Created on: March 27, 2010

The idea that male attitudes contribute to the “choice” of being a lesbian is like saying that the attitude of others contributes to your skin color. Lesbianism isn’t a choice, any more so than your skin colors or family members are your choice. Insinuating that the way men feel about the idea is ridiculous for a number of reasons.

The first is the way men view lesbianism. Take a look at the best selling pornographic videos of all-time and you’ll find quite a few devoted to the topic. Visit the neighborhood bar and if you see two women making out, the chances are good that you’ll also see quite a few male patrons watching the event unfold. The truth of the matter is that men are turned on by lesbianism, or at least a good portion are and those attitudes have little to do with why a woman is a lesbian.

If we’re even to consider the idea that the thoughts of men impact sexual identity, then we also have to look at the attitudes of females and the attitudes of men towards gay males. That, in and of itself, would serve as another topic here on Helium. Do the way men feel about gay men contribute to some men being gay?

The odd thing is that this does in a way and led to an entire subset of the culture. These men are sometimes known as being on the “down-low”, meaning that the men are gay and have sexual relationships with other men, but keep it a secret from their friends and loved ones. They may even have a wife and children, while secretly sleeping with another man, all because they’re worried about how others react. This doesn’t impact their “choice” to be gay; they’re gay, but afraid to admit it.

Women don’t choose to become lesbians, but some women aren’t above flaunting close relationships with other women, just to gain some attention. Hollywood starlets for example, kiss other women in movies, on the red carpet and in front of paparazzi cameras. Are those women truly lesbians? No, but they do know that their actions will get them the focus of their male fans. They’re not even making a conscious choice to act like a lesbian.

Those who think that the way men feel about lesbians make some women choose that lifestyle are those who feel it’s actually a choice. Maybe they think that some women are tired of men leering at them or they’re tired of failed relationships. Those people need to ask themselves one question: did the way men feel about homosexuality cause you to “choose” your sexuality?

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