by H.W. Holdings

Created on: March 27, 2010   Last Updated: December 18, 2011

There wasn't much on that night. Byron still channel-surfed hopefully until he settled on a serious public affairs program. He was in the mood to better himself by becoming more informed.

"Laws are written by rational people with the theory that things which would deter them are things that would deter criminals. Criminals are not rational people" Said the lawyer appearing upon the current events show on public television that Byron was watching as he ate a delicious fast food takeout dinner . It occurred to him that the attorney might be talking about Petunia and Clarence with whom Byron had been living for the past 6 months.

The doorbell suddenly rang and he got up to answer it. Two cops were there holding up their badges. They took a moment before speaking noting the ketchup stains on Byron's mouth and his dirty Motley Crue T-shirt, Green Bay Packers boxer shorts and furry bunny slippers but made no comment on his appearance.

Byron licked the ketchup and chicken grease off of his fingers, wiping them on shirt as he waited to see what they wanted finally shrugging to elicit their response. He belched loudly just as the officer began talking so the cop had to start again.

"Good evening sir, we are canvassing the neighbourhood looking for an escapee from a women's prison in Sacramento. We think she may be in the area and we are wondering if you may have seen here" The officer showed Byron the picture of the heavily made-up woman with feathered 1970s hair. His eyes got big. "Damn!" Exclaimed Byron loudly as he eyes lit up.

"Excuse me?" Said the officer.

"Oh...Nothing" Said Byron "What else can ya tell me about her?"

The two cops looked at each other and the other cop spoke. "She is 36 years old, five foot nine and a half, 125 pounds, 36-24-36. Has tribal tattoos along both arms. Tends to wear leather. Has a fondness for leopard skin print attire and large hoop earrings. Speaks with a noticeable Southern drawl specific to the state of Alabama...Ring any bells, sir?"

"No, but she SURE COULD!" Replied Byron admiring the mugshot.

"Excuse me?" Said the officer.

"Oh...Nothing, nothing" Said Byron "Does she have a boyfriend?"

The two cops looked at each other again. One of the officers handed Byron a flier with the suspects picture and data.

"Oh score! I can keep this? Far out! You guys are the best!"

The cops shook their heads and left.

Byron shut the door and gazed at the picture on the flier. "Mmmmph...You can steal MY HEART anytime

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