by Marie Lorraine

Created on: March 26, 2010   Last Updated: October 09, 2010

Being brought up Catholic was equivalent to being brought up to say “please” and “thank you” in the town I grew up in. It was expected, there was no questioning involved, and any parent who failed to do so was looked at as if something had gone terribly wrong. There is a specific type of solemn guilt that accompanies Catholicism that only Catholics can understand and only former Catholics would admit to. Over time I have successfully left this guilt behind, although many others I know have not been able to escape it in spite of their disbelief.

From second through eighth grade, I attended a small and very traditional Catholic school. Although I did not realize it at the time, the type of education I received and the atmosphere in that school was probably parallel to what elementary school was like for my grandmother or even my great grandmother. Stern nuns in matching blue habits marched through the halls like military drill sergeants wielding rulers instead of rifles. We prayed in unison and ate lunch in silence. Aside from reading and arithmetic, we were taught “facts” about life and the world in a very matter of fact manner.

Looking back now I realize that we were taught about Jesus, evil abortionists possessed by Satan to kill babies, and non-believers going to hell as if they were as much of a fact as 2 + 2 = 4 or Newton discovering gravity. When I think about this kind of agenda-pushing towards children, it makes my blood run cold and I truly hope things have changed since then, although I am not confident they have.

When I graduated from eighth grade, I was awarded a special ribbon for displaying excellent Christian values. The fact is, I was just extremely nice, almost to the point of being a push over. Despite this, there was already something that rubbed me the wrong way and made me sick to my stomach about the concept of god the priests and nuns taught to us.

This feeling became deeper and deeper as I entered a Catholic high school. I had many questions during religious discussions and was told repeatedly that my lack of faith was sinful. Despite the fact that I was never hostile or intentionally rude, my parents were eventually asked if they could pull me out of that school. When the principal explained to my parents why, they happily did as asked and put me into the local public high school, where it was not perfect, but my curiosity was encouraged and rewarded, as it should have been.

Being brought up Christian is what turned me off Christianity in the end, as well as any other belief system that includes the idea that it is the only right way to think. I have met many wonderful Christians in my lifetime and hold nothing against them, but I do have an issue with any religion that attempts to inhibit a person's freedom to think for him or herself without punishment. Besides, if everyone I know who is gay, living in sin, non-Christian, or pro-choice is going to hell, it would be a very lonely afterlife if I didn't go with them.

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