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Office Olympics in your workplace

As a struggling musician who is forced to work a day job to make ends meet - I try to plan for as much goofing off time during the day to make my job a little more palatable.

I've discovered something that has given me great pleasure at work and I
think all but the non-ambulatory should try it if given the opportunity.

Yep. It's file cabinet vaulting.

The first time I attempted the feat was a few weeks ago when running late for a presentation. I saw a small obstacle in my way at the end of a long narrow and poorly lit hall on the 8th floor of my office building.

I was on a quick run and did not think it wise to stop.

Then, it was upon me, and I realized it was a filing cabinet. Three feet high. Blocking my path to the conference room.

Rather than halt my stride I decided to vault on a run and save myself some time. I cleared it with plenty of room to spare. And I was wearing a suit and carrying an arm full of presentation material. It was awesome. Too bad nobody witnessed it. Since then, almost as if driven by some strange obsession, I've vaulted several other pieces of furniture and office fixtures in my building. Two tree-like plants last week alone.

I believe, however, that my days of participating in this enjoyable endeavor are numbered, as last week; I was nearly caught in the act attempting to vault a lady from our A/P Department. In my defense, she was near a filing cabinet. Actually she was stooped over a filing cabinet. I was coming out of my office and spied her near the end of another hallway. Stooped.

Waiting to be vaulted. I didn't know if I could make it over her before she stood up and it caused me to hesitate. My boss came out of her office around the time I was making the decision to go.

"What are you doing," she asked.

"Thinking about vaulting Jan," I admitted.

"It can't be done." She laughed.

"Oh yes...it can and will be done," and I started up slowly and jogged down the hall. By the time I got to Jan she had stood up and turned to face me
with an expression of utter contempt.

"You were going to try to jump over me weren't you?" She accused me.

"Nope." I explained.

"Yes you were, I've heard about you and your little stunts."

"Jan, you are a human being. I would never risk injuring you or myself over something so foolish. I just wanted to let you know that I have all the back up paperwork for my last credit card reconciliation and will be stop by
with it after lunch."

"OK." She eyed me suspiciously.

"See you then," I called back to her as I jogged in the opposite direction down the hall.

My boss was gone but there was a message from her on my voice mail. "Told you - you couldn't do it." she was laughing. Boss mockery only motivates me
more.

I swear, that one day when the time is right...and I have my chance....I will vault that old A/P lady. My victorious laughter will be heard throughout DC.

Learn more about this author, Matthew Guy.
Contact this writer Click here to send this author comments or questions.


Below are the top articles rated and ranked by Helium members on:

Office Olympics in your workplace

  • 1 of 2

    by David Lawrence

    Office Olympics - A Beginners Guide

    Over the last seven or so years at my present employer, myself and a small group of employees

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  • 2 of 2

    by Matthew Guy

    As a struggling musician who is forced to work a day job to make ends meet - I try to plan for as much goofing off time during

    read more

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