by Miranda Miller-Smith

Created on: March 22, 2010

It happens to just about every woman at least once in her pregnancy, once the baby bump becomes visible, someone will touch you. It could be a stranger on the bus, or your neighbor next door, or possibly a relative. It does not really matter who it is if you are not comfortable being touched by others.

So, how does a woman go about avoiding this unwanted attention and or affection? As a pregnant woman I would like to offer a few tips that have worked well for me. I hope these tips work for you also!

When I was 2 months pregnant my mother in law decided it was acceptable for her to touch my stomach every five seconds, and on one terrible occasion she proceeded to rip my shirt up over my head and start patting my belly in front of a very large group of people at a local festival. At this moment I realized something needed to be done. I could not imagine surviving the next 7 months with this going on.

So, when someone is offering you unwanted contact, the most obvious action sometimes seems to be a small explosion on your part. That is how I handled things the first time. I screeched “Don’t! That is so embarrassing and weird! I am not showing yet, you are groping me!”

Yeah, that was not the best reaction. I know. I left my mother in law upset, my husband embarrassed and I felt like a very immature person. Since that moment of losing my cool I realized that stress is my enemy. I need to stay calm and cool for my baby. Also, there are better ways to avoid unwanted attention.

Early in your pregnancy, if someone insists on fondling your belly, you could try saying “ I very much appreciate your interest in my changing body and developing baby, but I am not comfortable with the ways I am changing. If you don’t mind removing your hands from my stomach, I would really appreciate it.” That is a much nicer approach that screeching like I did.

If someone you are not comfortable with insists on touching your developing baby bump, be honest, yet polite. You could try saying, “I don’t feel comfortable having anyone but my husband touch me. I am sorry, I don’t mean to make you feel weird,  much as I am sure you don’t intend to make me uncomfortable.”

If you feel weird about telling family to get their paws off of you, delegate that chore to your husband or boyfriend. Ask him to say “She feels really emotional, and it drives her crazy to have people touch her. She doesn’t even like me touching her!” That might help the situation.

If all else fails, try to keep at least a few feet of distance between you and others. Don’t give anyone the option to touch you and you might be able to avoid the touchy feely aspects of pregnancy.

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