by Tiffany Adams

Created on: March 21, 2010

Add Jesse James to the roster of the Cheating Husbands Club. This is a growing and not-so-secret society. If men could keep their affairs secret, the internet experiment would have probably failed, right?

 Still, let's look at the real culprit here-America's Sweet Heart. Sandra Bullock may have married him despite the raised eyebrows of everyone at a 7th grade reading level. She may have thrown her heart into being a good step-mom and stood by her husband's side through a custody battle for his daughter with a porn star. She may have humbly included him in every public triumph she had while taking home arm-loads of acting awards for The Blind Side (20009), but here is a look at what Sandra should have done.

Sandy should have made the strategic move to porn films. There are federal guidelines to prevent the spread of STDs. Not to mention, plenty of awards to be won. Becoming a porn actress would have kept her man close. If she had been in Atlanta filming say The Back Side instead of The Blind Side, he would have been right there instead of cheating on her at home.

That takes care of the kind of professional profile Jesse likes his woman to have. What about around the house? At home, Sandy should have adopted the persona of a neo-Nazi, promiscuous, publicity-seeking, jealous, hate-spewing, heartless shrew.  That’s the role model Jesse prefers for his kids, you see. Michelle Bombshell McGhee gives all victims of child abuse with even a single tattoo a bad name.

Sandy should have come up with a better plan to reach the pinnacle of her career on the world’s biggest stage only to have herself publically humiliated with her family in tatters on the heels of that victory. Really, it’s so passé to have your husband cheat on you after winning an Oscar. It’s been done since Hollywood’s golden era. She should have gone bigger. Instead of being a Hollywood icon, she should have been out of the spotlight with the kids while he traveled the world cavorting with every waitress, porn star, and “model” he could…Oh yeah, that’s been done too.

Every woman should take heed of this cautionary tale. Any woman who believes that the way to have a loving, secure relationship is to be open, giving, and trusting better rethink that position. Good girls finish last. So do whatever it takes to win and keep a man like Jesse James. His kind is way too special.

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