by Molly Horton

Created on: March 20, 2010

Relationships, whether they are between a man and a woman or two people of the same sex, are complicated and can be filled with red flags. I also believe a strong, healthy relationships can be vulnerable at different points throughout its lifetime and couples need to beware. All too often we hear or read in the news of yet another broken marriage or relationship and the questions and speculations set in. What we do not often hear is about the red flags that were likely present within the relationship long before the sad news of the break-up broke.

His or Her Past

The old saying goes "the best way to predict the future is to look at the past". I think this is particularly true of relationships. If your boyfriend has been known to "get around" and now you think he has become a "one woman man" just for you, think again. While it is possible, not many people change that much. It's foolish for someone to turn a blind eye to their partner's life beforehand. Expect them to behave similarly to how they have acted in their past.

Too Controlling

You're an adult entering into a relationship willingly because you love a person. This does not give your partner permission to start running your entire life. Couples should have some pars of their lives separate, but that does not mean secret. You had a life with friends and activities before your relationship, and you should have one during your relationship. If you cannot go out with friends or chat on the phone with your sister because your partner will become fuming mad and make you pay, this is a big read flag and it's time to re-evaluate how healthy this relationship indeed is. Friend and family will be there forever, if you treat them right. In other words, run for your life if your partner attempts to remove them from your life.!

Ignoring You

Just the opposite of being too controlling is showing little to no interest in your life. In my opinion, this is the kind of relationship where someone is likely to cheat. Even after many years of marriage, there should be things that create a spark between two people. While day to day life can become dull and seem lifeless, a couple should attempt to regularly spice it up. If your partner shows no interest in even trying, it might be time to have a talk.

Jokes at Your Expense

This just makes people uncomfortable. When you and your partner are out with friends, and your partner starts telling jokes where everyone is meant to laugh at you, it can be very hurtful. Your partner should be your biggest cheerleader and supporter and not the person catching a laugh while you cringe in the corner. I think this is a way of some people saying to you that they don't love the other person, without having the actual courage to just say it. It comes off as very cowardly. Have the final laugh on them and just leave.

You Feel Like a Doormat

Finally, if you look over the life of your relationship and in general feel like a doormat, something is wrong. While relationships take a lot of work, there should be many many high points and times that the other person gives you the feeling of safety and love. You should not feel like you are bearing the brunt of everything in your household and life. Your partner should be there to share in that and lighten your load

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