by Amelia Randall

Created on: March 19, 2010   Last Updated: March 23, 2010

When somebody we are close to passes away, I do not think anyone can tell us how we can feel. All the planning in the world, can be lost when it actually happens

We all deal with loss etc in different ways. Some people will put a brave face on and pretend that they are ok, maybe even try to make light of the situation, others will break down visibly. There is no right or wrong way to react and nothing anyone can say or do to change how you react. I think that for somebody who puts a brave face on and comes across strong, may be ther person who suffers the most.

When you lose someone you should surround yourself with people. Feeling so strong can make you act  in many ways, if you are surrounded by friends/family you will be less likely to do anything dangerous.

The first thing you should do is make sure you say your goodbyes. I  do not just mean by turning up to the funeral, but by writing them a letter. A lot of people always feel they had more to say to them and never got the chance. You do have a chance. Maybe not face-to-face, but you can write a letter explaining how you are and reminding them of some good times and then place it on the grave. It will help you to get things out in the open.

Have some photos to hand that are of fond memorys. You can look at these whenever you need to be close to them. If you are having a bad day or need advice you can speak to the photo as if you would speak to them, which can help relieve stress.

When thinking of them keep the thoughts happy. Do not dwell on what has happened think purely about how good times have been spent with them and smile.

The most important thing to remember is that it happens to all of us one day. Some at a very young age and some old age. Maybe them going was good for them as they may not be in pain anymore or lonely.

I am quite spiritual and I believe in the life after. So would tend to imagine how happy the person is as they may no longer be suffering. Keeping their memory alive in my children and grand children

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