by Mark Poyhonen

Created on: March 18, 2010   Last Updated: March 19, 2010

The Minority

Ronald felt the weight of a losing argument pressing upon his intellect.  He was beginning to feel  like a loser for having succeeded in getting a breakfast meeting with his elected representative.

"I wanted to register as a minority," Ronald repeated the source of his problem  in the hope of achieving some understanding.

"You cannot claim yourself as a minority, Mr. Flock, because you are Caucasian," said Senator Hubris, patiently.

"The name, again, is Fisk," replied Ronald, "And it is Finnish.  I am Finnish American."

"Yes, yes," said  Hubris, "You are also Caucasian, and no 'Caucasian' can be considered a minority."

"I know women who are Finnish," began Ronald,  " They are a minority, and if 'Caucasian' is interpreted to include all 'white' people, then she is a Caucasian who is also considered a minority."

"Well, 'Caucasian.', is a political term in the manner by which we currently choose to use it, however, all women are considered to be a minority, but otherwise you must be a person of color in order to be considered a minority," the Senator sighed with the last words and hoped the clown that sat before him would finally relent after being confronted with superior logic.

"I know for a fact that there are very few Finnish Americans living in the United States," said Ronald with authority.  "I can prove there are more people of any specific color than there are Finns - of any color, although I admit, most of us do seem to have a light complexion.  I also know what 'minority' means.  Well, I thought I did; but you are saying that the small number of Finns cannot be considered as a minority because they have light complexions like most 'white' people.  That cannot be a valid argument because Finnish women are considered to be a minority."

"I think I see your problem..." began Senator Hubris.

"My problem?" interjected an exasperated voter seeking representation.

"Yes,  my dear Finnish American," said the senator evenly, "Your problem.  The real reason Finnish Americans cannot be considered a minority, (he paused for effect),  is because there are not enough of them."

"Blacks are a minority because there happen to be a lot of them?" asked Ronald.

"Absolutely," the Senator pounded the table in victory.   "Now take women.  Our population is comprised of 52% women and they are a minority because they said so - and voted accordingly."

"But 52% is a majority," argued Ronald.

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