by Nerissa Miller

Created on: March 18, 2010

Friendship, likewise in any other relationships, changes with time. We may long to keep a friendship forever, but finds it difficult as we move through the different stages in life.

Many of us are busy with our work, entertaining our bosses, and meeting people we think can help us in our careers. It is a challenge trying to manage our remaining time juggling between family, and friends. If we have our own development courses or interests to see too, we will find ourselves slowly drifting apart from friends.

We know in our job that we have to prioritize our work. However, when it comes to our personal life, we may not apply the same rule. Some people, especially married couples, only spend time with their children, whilst the singles may spend most of their time with friends.

A common interest can bond two people in friendship, but once we start letting down our guards, friendships can turn sour. We may get too comfortable with our close friends, and take them for granted. We expect our friends to be there, at a time we are free or tired, and want someone to talk to. It can be we are stressed out at work, or facing problems with our spouse. The next person we think of is always our close friends. However, are we there for them when they need us?

Some friends only want entertainers, people that can make them laugh when they are unhappy. Others may only welcome you at their gatherings to share the bills. They may have a whole list of reasons why they cannot meet you over lunch or dinner. However, they may give you last minute calls when they do not have anyone to do shopping with them, or while they have a time gap between appointments. Do you like to be a standby friend so to speak? Are we doing the same to our friends?

Everyone has ups, and downs in life, and need friends by our side to lend a listening ear. We may fail to realize that we have been taking more than we give in a friendship. It is alright if you think the friend you hold on to is worth your sacrifice. No one is perfect. If you can have a listening ear when you need, but the friend is not much of an entertainer, you may still want to keep the friend. However, if you think you are only giving, with no returns whatsoever, you may want to relook at the relationship, and let your friend knows tactfully, what you think a good friend should be. They will get what you mean, but give them time to improve, and be in pace with you again.

It is not easy to define what makes good friendship. The important traits you treasures, may be little significance to another person. The most important thing is to understand yourself, what you can give to your friend, and let them know what you expect as a friend.

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