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Created on: March 17, 2010
Everyone has heard the terms, ‘typical middle child,’ ‘classic only-child behaviour’ and ‘overachieving first born’. Does the order in which children are born have a lasting effect on their lives?
The Austrian psychologist Alfred Adler first set out the importance of birth order, and although he never set out any scientific support for his theories his ideas were to influence others such as Michael Grose, an Alderian-trained parenting expert, who wrote ‘Why First Borns Rule the World and Last Borns Want to Change it.’
So what are these theories?
First born children, from an historical observance, are less likely to die in infancy, less susceptible to disease and more likely to reproduce. World leaders are overwhelmingly first-born children. Parents, and grandparents have a tendency to overdo everything with first borns and have high expectations. They are often the centre of attention.
On the negative side, first borns are the only ones who experience having parents to themselves and then having to share them. This can cause them to be anxious, emotionally intense, defensive and prone to jealousy. Because of their parents high expectations they are also believed to have an aversion to risk and be least likely to travel or be physically daring.
Examples of first borns: Bill and Hilary Clinton, George W Bush, Saddam Hussein, Adolf Hitler, Kylie Minogue
A middle child, according to Darwin, lose out as are neither the precious, able, oldest nor the vulnerable youngest. They learn to be more flexible and sociable, to compromise and build coalitions and tend to be more relaxed. They tend to spend more time away from the family to avoid the frustration of being an outsider in the family.
They can feel pushed out by the rest of the family and parents need to remember to give them a little special attention at times and find out the ways in which they are different to their siblings.
Examples of middle children: Stella McCartney, Michelle Pfeiffer, Princess Diana, Cindy Crawford, Emily Bronte.
A youngest child has a revolutionary personality, they choose different paths to siblings to avoid competition. Also they are always babies and expect others to take responsibility. Parents do not have such high expectations from their youngest child and in turn they feel less pressure to perform and will achieve in their own way. They may also tend to be very persistent and good at wearing their parents down and getting their own way.
Examples of last children: Joan of Arc, Mahatma Gandhi, Charles Darwin, Hugh Grant, Johnny Depp.
Only children, feel like outsiders, distanced from much of life They can be extremely mature, aloof, someone who expects special standing.
Examples of only children: Winston Churchill, Joseph Stalin, Franklin D Roosevelt, Frank Sinatra, Tiger Woods.
The effects of birth order can vary according to different factors, including temperament, gender and age gap. An easy going first born will ease competition. Same sex children can increase competition. The closer the age gap more dramatic the birth order effect, when it is greater than five years it's diminished.
Birth order can also effect future relationships, two first borns rarely connect, yet two third borns can relate without conflict.
Learn more about this author, Anne Stone.
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