by Pat Wilson

Created on: February 23, 2007   Last Updated: April 18, 2007

What does a child of an alcoholic experience? Do you really want to know what it is like when your parent, your authority figure and the person you're supposed to be able to rely on, is a drinker?
Imagine the four-year-old who sits on the sofa and rocks, making a rhythmic song of calling "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy-Mommy-Mommy" for unanswered hours at a time, while Mommy sits unresponsive in the next room because Daddy is on another drunk.

Imagine an 8-year-old who is in charge of answering the phone every time it rings, because Mommy can't do it. Now imagine that 8-year-old having a strange man screaming at the child over the phone because bills aren't being paid, threatening to come and kill the parents and burn down the house while everyone is sleeping. Imagine that child pleading with the bill collector, tears running down cheeks that should be rosy.
Imagine when drunken Dad comes home and finds the child on the phone crying, and to shut the child up, grabs a knife and, screaming, cuts the phone cord next to the child's face.
Imagine that same 8-year-old taking the hand of the 3-year-old and leading her into another room and talking very loudly so the little one can't hear the drunken parent making slurred excuses and lies to the sober parent.
Imagine a child that young being so sensitive to the moods and movements of a parent that the child knows if a parent is coming home drunk, just by the sound of the parent's key in the front door lock.
The kids aren't being smacked around, so no one comes to their aid - no bruises, no problem, right?
Fast forward a few years. The child is now the parent, a non-drinker. The child-parent did reasonably well in school, average grades, enough to get into an average college. Child-parent has had a string of average jobs and did a passable job at them. The child-parent is actually a pretty nice person.
But the child-parent is struggling against a pattern of self-destructive behavior, unseen by themselves, that costs the family its income, it's sense of stability, of harmony. Things just seem to "happen," like a dark cloud that throws the odd lightning bolt. The car breaks down on the way to a job interview. The school nurse calls to say a child is sick and needs to come home, just when the boss is giving a warning for missing too much work.
A person better able to cope would have taken better care of the car, avoiding break-downs. Work hours would not have been missed, and the boss not upset when a reliable worker must leave

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