by Zoe Mack

Created on: March 15, 2010

The rehearsal dinner is typically held after the wedding rehearsal, the day before the wedding. While there are a number of customs and traditions associated with rehearsal dinners, the size, cost, and formality of the event is completely open, no matter what the size or formality of the actual wedding itself. The following are some common questions and concerns about rehearsal dinners:

Why do I need a rehearsal dinner?

Perhaps all the wedding planning/scheduling is getting to you, and you would rather avoid adding more to your overflowing to-do list. Rehearsal dinners, while they may seem superfluous, serve several important functions. It allows your family and wedding party to get to know one another a little more before the "big day," and it gives you and your honey a chance to thank all those who have helped you out while planning your wedding. If you are feeling particularly stressed about having a formal restaurant affair, maybe a backyard BBQ is the way to go, but don't nix the rehearsal dinner altogether.

Who plans the rehearsal dinner?

Traditionally, the groom's parents plan the rehearsal dinner. If you aren't sure, it is a good idea to ask if they are interested in hosting the dinner, or if they would prefer to just help out. Even if the groom's family does not pay for the dinner, it is often a good idea to let the groom's mother have a hand in the planning. Much of wedding planning centers around the bride, her friends, and her mother, and the groom's mother may welcome the chance to join in. It may be awkward to ask if the groom's parents want to host, but you risk hurt feelings if you just assume they aren't interested.

Of course, there is no rule saying the groom's family HAS to host the rehearsal dinner. The bride and groom can host, or the responsibility can be split between parents, other relatives, or even friends. Just remember, if you aren't hosting and your opinion is not requested, you have very little say in the planning process.

How much does it cost?

A rehearsal dinner can be as frugal or expensive as you like. If money is an issue, or fancy just isn't your style, consider having a pot luck or a BBQ. The important thing is that you have the opportunity to be with family and friends, relax, and express your thanks to those who have given you their time and love. You may choose to have your dinner at a local restaurant or pub, a fancy restaurant, or you may prefer to have it catered.

My future mother-in-law is planning a pig roast! I'm

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