by Moe Zilla

Created on: March 15, 2010

Here's something you didn't know about the old west. "A long time ago, before TV, thousands of poodles, cocker spaniels, and collies roamed the western plains in search of biscuits, fire hydrants, and rubber balls."

It's actually the first sentence of a very funny children's book by Ron Barrett. Six years after "Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs," Barrett came up with another zany story with an even stranger premise. And he supplies some comic illustrations for everything he's describing, including a vast southwestern desert that's cluttered with dozens of dogs! "Each day the dogboys and doggirl put newspapers down on the prairie for those dogs who weren't trained to go over to Fire Hydrant Rock..."

Barret used to have a comic strip in the National Lampoon called "Politeness Man," according to Wikipedia - which I remember as having the same mock authority. And his instincts are still fresh, since he supplies fake headlines for those newspapers scattered across that prarie. ("Tooth Fairy Asks Wage Hike! Ants Won't Eat Salami! You Can Learn to Hum! Do You Know the Muffin Man?") When a dog at the rodeo shows off his new trick - begging - it's performed by wearing a panhandler's sign around its neck that says "gimme" (while holding out a sad paw, and a can that reads "I need a new toy.") But eventually, among all the funny jokes, a story gradually starts to appear...

First he introduces three charming characters for the dog ranch: a doggirl named Dale Jeans, and two dogboys - Yodel Plunkitt and a cook named Chuck Waggin. (Waggin is first seen delivering freshly-baked dog biscuits to a herd of smiling doggies out on the range!) One night rustlers steal all of their herds.  (Yodel the cook supplies the perfect reaction - "Well I'll be doggone!") Dale follows the rustler's trail, all the way to "Rover River," where they get a clue from some helpful fleas, and then follow the trail north. And Barrett illustrates this with a picture of Santa Claus...

Eventually they find the rustlers, who insist they've grown to love the dogs - and Dale is moved to make a deal. In exchange for the dogs, she accepts the other animals those rustlers had been trying to use for their housepets - cows. And Barrett contributes a suitably silly drawing of their situation, showing indoor cow pets illustrates the ridiculousness of playing with yarn, taking a bath, and chewing on a hanging lamp. There's even a cow crammed into a bird cage

But in the end, the three happy dog ranchers do keep one dog - as a pet for themselves.

Learn more about this author, Moe Zilla.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.