by Roman Del Bosque

Created on: March 14, 2010   Last Updated: March 16, 2010

A marriage is over when love has departed.  Trying to maintain a marriage when love has departed is like trying to start a fire without a match, a car without a key.  Where there is no love there is little or no communication; where there is no communication the marriage withers and dies.  When the love and communication in a relationship has disappeared, the relationship is over, and it is time to say goodbye and go our separate ways.

Marriage counseling may help, but as the saying goes "It takes two to tangle"; thus, when either husband or wife does not want to play ball, what to do?

We cannot force a person to attend marriage counseling against their will; it is their choice, their decision after all.  If they do not want to play ball, if they do not want to tangle; we have to let go!  Painful as it may be, under the circumstances letting go is the best option. Coercion, begging, pleading, crying in our attempts to convince a person to stay - when it is obvious they want out of the relationship - will almost always backfire and lead to additional pain and suffering.  Why do it?  Let us not prolong the inevitable.  Let us not cause ourselves additional pain.

Life goes on - with or without the person - and we must find the courage to do so, to renew ourselves and remake our lives.  It is not impossible - it may not be easy - but not impossible.  The only impossible things in life is what we believe and accept to be! But we make that choice; that decision - not God; not fate; not destiny; not mom or dad; not our best friend - but us!  Let us remember that in our time of need, and choose wisely.

When my ex-wife and I divorced in 1998, I was devastated.  My self-confidence and self-esteem plummeted in one seemingly instant moment - plummeted into a virtual abyss.  For a time, I believed that life for me would never be the same.  I thought I was done, that my life was over.  In that moment, life for me became dark, lifeless, even insignificant, and took on an ominous hue - one that I had never experienced before.  For the first time in life, at age thirty-three, I was scared, afraid and alone, and I cried.  

In moments of despair and desperation, I considered, contemplated suicide. One early evening on my way home from work, I almost carried through on a suicide plan; yet, thankfully, at the very last moment, my four-year-old son flashed into my thoughts, to tell me that he loved

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