by Tamara Frattarelli

Created on: March 14, 2010

In my lifetime, I have been given a number of gifts for the purpose of protecting myself.  From a friend, pepper spray.  From a colleague, an obnoxiously loud alarm that could be set off by pulling a cord to get the attention of passersby.  From a significant other when a job required me to drive long distances alone, a handgun and concealed carry permit lessons (I never actually got the permit or carried the gun-freaked me out).  I have never used any of these in a crisis situation, but there is one tool that has always been a help: a sense of awareness.

More than anything else, awareness will keep you safe, street smart, and confident.  Awareness is simply a practice you develop over time of knowing what is around you and how it can affect you.  Next time you are out walking down a street, take a quick inventory: is the place you are walking isolated or crowded? Is it well-lit?  Is anyone walking behind you?  Are there others within earshot?  This practice of awareness is not to scare you; no need to write a horror flick in your head of what could happen in that particular setting, but simply to inform you of how you may be safe or how you may be vulnerable. 

Walking alone is not the only opportunity to practice this awareness.  Out with friends, take a look around.  How well do you know the people you are with?  Is there anyone there who you know could “have your back” if something went wrong?  Do you have an exit strategy if something starts happening that makes you uncomfortable (alcohol appears, someone is being a little too pushy with interest in you, you don’t have a safe way to get home, the list goes on…)?

On a date, take a quick inventory: is this someone who you know cares about you, or an acquaintance?  Is it someone you know you feel safe alone with (if not, group dates are great)?  Is it someone willing to hurt you?  These aren’t fun questions to think about, but they can save a lot of trouble in the long run. If you get in the habit of scanning through questions like these, you will find yourself quickly developing a habit of being street-smart.

A final addition: awareness is useless without the confidence to use it.  For instance, out with that group of friends, you may be very aware that these are not people you know well, that the friend who invited you along may be acting different than you expected, that alcohol makes a sudden appearance, that you know things may be getting quickly out of hand.  This is a great first step to being street-smart.  However, there is another step: act on it!  My parents had a basic rule: call anytime, from anywhere, if you feel unsafe, and we will come get you.  Your safety is more important than us knowing you ended up in a place we would rather you not be.  If you don’t have an agreement like this with your parents or a trusted adult, it may be time to strike up the conversation.  Give yourself that safety net, and use it if you need to. 

There’s not some magic formula or innate sense that you are born with to being street-smart.  It’s a process of learning to keep yourself safe, and knowing that you are the person with the most power to carry out that task!

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