by Paul Cleaver

Created on: March 13, 2010

They don’t have to be allowed to have a fully weighted vote but they should have a vote. Every person in the family that is old enough to be able to understand the subject under discussion should have a vote in the final outcome that is going to affect their little corner of the world. This is not to say that all members of the family should have equally weighted votes when it comes time to place the final family vote on a matter.

            It is usually wise to have a family “council” or meeting to discuss the subject to be voted upon. All members of the family that are of an age to comprehend the subject matter under discussion should be allowed to take part in the family meeting. This gives each member of the family an equal feeling of partaking in the discussion at hand before the vote is taken. All pertinent matter relative to the vote that is to be forthcoming should be presented in such a way as to be understood by all family members. Once everyone has had a chance to be briefed on the information that is needed to make an informed choice then the vote can be taken. It is usually best to have each member of the family write their vote on a piece of paper and place it in a “hat” to be handed over to mom or dad. Then mom or dad will take the count from the papers they have in the “hat” and announce the decision. There are times when mom and dad may need to confer while the count is being confirmed to make sure that the decision is in keeping with what is best for the entire family and follows the parents pathway toward their common goals. So even though each child (in keeping with their age based knowledge) may have a vote as such, the final decision lies with mom and dad. So it is the same as using “veto” power if the outcome of your family vote is ridiculously foolish due to the inclusion of the younger members of the family. If you use the “silent” voting method you can protect the actual votes cast and enact your parents veto power without hurt feelings.

This method works well in larger families, however in single child families this method will not work at all.  Then the choice to include your child in family decisions has to be a personal choice between mom and dad.  I believe that all family members should have some input into what is going on in their families. There are decisions that young children should be included in and there are decisions that they should be excluded from. All choices as to whether to include or exclude are age based and related to the specific issue that is at hand. Those choices should  be made by mom and dad before including a young child in a “vote” that might be beyond the understanding of the youngest of those children.

Sometimes their inclusion could do more harm to their tender minds and hearts than the exclusion; this is all dependant upon the subject matter and the age of the child. 

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