by Eric Goudie

Created on: March 11, 2010

You asked for it.

Helium writers come up will all sorts of excuses for why their articles don’t do well in the ratings. Usually the types of articles that don’t fare well with raters are mind-numbingly obvious.

They’re too long

Long articles will almost always lose the vote, no matter how well they are written. If you can’t say it in less than a thousand words it’s too long.

They’re too short

While some articles fit perfectly just over 400 words many do not, and even if they’re meant to be cursory introductions to a topic a lazy writer can often bull@#$% their way to the minimum word count with vague platitudes and pop-culture references that are mainly on topic but not quite right and have limited value to the reader.

There’s no research

If faced with an article with researched facts versus one that’s mere conjecture the fact-based article will win out. No matter how highly you value your opinion it doesn’t hold a candle to factual information.

You’re ranting

Never, ever rant. We want to come through our computer screens and slap you upside the head. If you want to rant, start a blog.

You’re off-topic

If we’re rating two articles about looking after cats and your article is just about looking after kittens it’s not likely to win out. Kittens may be cute, they may even be cats, but the other article is the one that actually hit the target, so it gets the vote.

It’s an old college term paper

Academic works and academic language tend to read poorly online. If your babysitter couldn’t figure it out if was taped to the refrigerator then it’s probably too dense for the internet. Rant about the decline of literary standards somewhere else.

It’s referenced like one of your old college term papers

The way we cite works online is evolving, and few of Helium’s writers are completely familiar with the new conventions just yet, but suffice it to say the way you learned how to cite works in eighth grade doesn’t cut it any more. See the Help Guide for the most up to date information.

You’re plagiarising

Citing works improperly is annoying, but stealing another writer’s words make the raters’ blood boil like nothing else. Yes, there are ways we can tell, even when rating, and if we’re suspicious we’re likely to check, and we’re certainly going to report you. Nothing is more satisfying than rooting out criminal scumbags who steal other writer’s work.

 These are just a few of the reasons why certain types of articles don’t do well in the ratings.

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