by Marijo Phelps

Created on: March 11, 2010

Several Days in the Life of Mom's  Dementia

This day was before the family realized the extent on Mom's dementia.  Yes, she wanted to MOVE rather than face issues and get things straightened out.  Yes, she was sometimes irrational (but she according to her MD she was bi-polar and couldn't take the meds most of her adult life so we never knew what to attribute to what) Yes, she was thinking many people were out to get her.  But neither we nor the nursing staff had realized to what extent her dementia was affecting her thought processes at this point.

Mom left a phone message, she's had it where she is living with Dad in a wonderful assisted living facility. She called a local moving company and was going to another facility all the way across town. She doesn't drive and never has since rolling her boyfriend's car at age 18. She wants to move Dad back to another facility he used to be in. She hung up on me when I was trying logic and scripture with her.

Help me, Lord, to honor my parents yet BACK OFF and wait. Speak to Mom, Lord and encourage Dad.

My sister, Paula, in Iowa, with better perspective from a distance for sure, had marvelous insights: me logical and Mom emotion driven but Mom can sure get me hooked.

Ah, Lord God Thou hast made the heavens and the earth with thy great power, nothing is too difficult for Thee – can You speak to my mom and have her hear and obey? Give me wisdom and strength!

 I talked with Dad, he agreed that he was getting great care where he was and he did not want to move again (Mom had moved them around 10 times in two years, sometimes together and sometimes in separate facilities)

Thank You, Lord, for an excellent talk with my excellent Dad! Bless him. Please speak to Mom.

At least Mom and I had come to an agreement that she was not to call me at work unless it was a hospital type emergency. She left voice mails at my home phone and I could collect them when I had a break time. At this point in time I was working 32 hours a week. Jim and I were keeping up our home and the folk's home which Mom wasn't ready to sell yet AND visiting the folks at 2 different facilities. Many mornings I went in to feed Dad his breakfast. Hum. If we'd have had kids when we first married they'd be teenagers by now. Maybe there is a reason I never got pregnant and we didn't have children.

Voice mail from Mom wanting to move Dad to the facility he'd been in before NOW.

Lord, help us!

Ah, Lord God, nothing is too difficult

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