by Rhonda M.

Created on: February 23, 2007   Last Updated: July 25, 2008

You are ready for a relaxed weekend while your little darling is staying with Ma and Pa, Granny and Pa, Nanny and Poppy, what ever the name your little one uses for their affection bestowing grandparents. You are excited because you can relax, have a drink, be an individual for a while without the responsibility of baths, naps, meals, etc. You can just be you! Across town your little one is also excited for much different reasons. Going to Pa and Ma's leaves them free to do as they please with little to no consequences. The end result: you had better relax now mom and dad because when little darling returns home they have turned into little terror!

Grandparents feel compelled for some unknown reason to allow your children to do things they would never have dreamed of allowing you to do. The same rules they had for you growing up are too strict for their grand children. They see you as being too strict on the little things and immediately begin to defend any irrational fits, tantrums, messes, etc that your child takes part in. Maybe the reasoning in their minds is they are older now and see things differently, maybe it is they want to give you back just a little bit of your own medicine for the things you put them through, or maybe it is some kind of mental old age disorder your parents are now going through, all you know is their actions make your children unbearable when they return home. Is there any way to meet in the middle for the best of both homes?

Parents you need to have a long discussion with your child's grandparents whether it is your parents or your spouses. It is all right to allow a little spoiling from Ma and Pa but certain rules need to be enforced even at their home. Children should respect grandparents as they do parents. If grandparents are not getting this respect they need to demand it from the child. It may be hard for grandparents to say "no" to their grandchild but if the child is being disrespectful or doing things they know they were told not to it is time to demand they obey the rules you set. It is ok to spoil them a bit but set ground rules and make sure they obey them such as meal times, eating what is served, bedtime, and any chores they are supposed to do. Having your grandchildren obey you makes the trip back home much easier on all involved. It is not really the parents who are hurt when grandparents refuse to make a child obey but the children themselves. Mom and dad will get order back with the child regardless of how Pa and

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