by Michelle N. Broughton

Created on: March 10, 2010

How can parents be fair to children? 

Set boundaries. 
Curfews, household responsibilities, school work, play times - all of these have to be taught with boundaries in mind.  How late is too late for a teen to stay out at night?  When do house and school tasks have to be completed?  What are the consequences if rules and boundaries are broken?  Do not blame a child for breaking rules, if those rules have never been explained and boundaries set.

Expect the best efforts. 
When you realize your child is not trying his best, whether at work or play, find out why.  Take time to talk, but not if you risk losing your temper during the conversation.  If his school work suffers, maybe he's having a tough time with other kids at school.  Maybe he is suffering from a learning disability.  Maybe he was pushed into a grade before he understood what was taught the year before or maybe he should be in a more challenging classroom.  Do whatever it takes to discover the reason.  Then help solve the problem.

It may require talking to his teachers.  See if they noticed anything that might point to a learning problem.  Go back over report cards and notes from the prior year.  Were there warning signs that he didn't understand his classes?  Talk with his friends.  There is one thing no parent should do, however, and that is face down a bully for the child.  That usually makes the situation worse.  Self-defense classes might be an option in that case.

Realize that all children cannot give A+ efforts in every area of their lives.
As much as parents love to brag about those A's and B's on children's report cards, some children simply are not geared to high grades in school.  If certain a child is putting forth the best efforts possible, praise him when he offers nothing less, whether he brings home an A or not.  Some of the most brilliant people in the world were terrible students.  Find where the child's accomplishments lay and support him in those areas.

Teach your children the value of saving versus spending every cent they get.  When they reach the legal age to do so, encourage them to get a part-time job.  Once they are working, go over a budget with them.  Insist they pay rent, whether it's five dollars a week or fifty dollars a month.  This is not because the house cannot run without their rent payment, but to teach them responsibility. 

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