by Rebecca Thomas

Created on: March 10, 2010

When a loved one dies, we go through a lot of mixed emotions.  The intensity of these emotions depends on the depth of the relationship we had with the deceased person.  Some of us experience the loss of a loved one at a very tender age and some of us at a later stage of our lives.  Some of us are able to be around to see our loved ones die (in fact to the point of them breathing their last breath) and some of us are away when the news of the death of our loved ones reach us (we only arrive to see their lifeless and embalmed bodies).  Some of us are happy that the loved one has passed away and some of us feel so guilty that we did not make the best in loving them when they were alive.   How we wish we could reverse time and start all over again but it is too late.  Our loved ones has left us and never to return.  All that is left are their memories be it good or bad and these memories can haunt and torment us for a period of time.  For some it may take years and continue to suffer in silence.  To these people, I would like to say that it is time to let it go and let the deceased lay in peace.  There is nothing you can do about their death.  The voice of your loved ones will only say one thing, “Move on with your life”.

Whatever the circumstances and the after effects of the death of a loved one has caused, we are always left with no choice but to grief.  Grief can make or break us if we do not come in terms in accepting the death of our loved ones.  Some people embrace grief as part of their lives.  It is buried inside them that they just refuse to let it go.  It becomes the underlying factor for a lot of other negative emotions to rise and as a result affect their well being.  Relationships, health and career suffer in the process.  It is good to seek counseling in such circumstances.  A good grief counselor can help to pull you out.

When my mother died, I was happy and sad at the same time.  My mother was suffering so much due to her sickness; I could not stand to see another day go by where I watch her helplessly suffering.  She too wanted death to cease her as quickly as possible.  She felt that she was a burden to me because I had to care for my two little children.  I would not want to deny that I did feel she was a burden to me.  I was juggling between work, children and studies at the same time.  I could not afford

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