by S.A.Robb

Created on: March 09, 2010

I am here to tell you in the clearest way possible that if you date someone with social anxiety disorder, you must understand that this person does suffer from a disorder.  It is not something they choose to have.  It is not something they can control.  Most of all it is something that will limit certain things they can do.  This WILL frustrate you.

 I have panic disorder, and as a result I am difficult to date at times.  I have good days and bad days.  There are days where I can go to a concert, others not so much.  There are days where I have a rapid fire thought process that makes me a tad insane, others not so much.

 I must point out here that there is nothing about this disorder that makes me incapable of loving someone.  There is nothing that makes my love any less important.  However, it does limit the things I can do for the person I am dating, and thus they may take this personally.

 Here is a guide to understanding and dating someone with social anxiety disorder.  Number one is to be understanding.  As I said, anxiety is not a choice, it is a disorder.  If you think your girlfriend or boyfriend likes that concerts, restaurants, crowded places, or long trips freak them out, think again.  It frustrates them.  Having to miss out on romantic weekend getaways, favorite bands, great food, socializing, is not a benefit.  It is not something people with social anxiety disorder as a whole are happy about.

 Number two is being patient.  When a person has social anxiety disorder it is not all the time.  There will be days where they can go do things and genuinely enjoy themselves.  Take these days for what they are, gifts.  They don’t happen often.  Generally over time, as the person with anxiety begins to feel more comfortable, gets treatment, or just gains a little self-confidence things will improve.  They will be willing to try more and more things.  It just takes being patient and a bit of time.

Number three is don’t blame them.  You want the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend.  Who doesn’t? A person with social anxiety disorder however, may not be able to do certain things that you need.  If you need to travel somewhere and a plane is too hard for them DO NOT force them to do it.  Forcing a person with anxiety into a situation they are not ready for can make them worse and mark that particular

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