by Michele Van Pelt

Created on: March 07, 2010   Last Updated: March 11, 2010

When we think of the education of our children, many of us tend to strictly think of the academic side of the equation.  We understand our children need to have strong mathematical, reading, and science skills in order to succeed in life after schooling.  What many of us are either not aware of or do not acknowledge, however, is the need for our children to have a strong sense of emotional intelligence.  A child that not only excels in the academic realm but also in the emotional realm is a balanced child that will have the correct tools to succeed in his or her adult life.

There are many skills and capabilities that our children learn that help them be positive social and intellectual contributors to our world many of which are acquired from their family environment or school environment.  According to Erik Erikson in his Stages of Personal and Social Development, from the ages of 6 to 12 years “children now want to make things.  Success brings…good feelings about oneself and one’s abilities...(whereas) failure creates a negative self-image.”  (Slavin, 2009, p. 47-48)  Children understand the need to feel that they are a productive part of society.  They understand the importance of cooperating with each other to get the work done.  This is an invaluable skill that, if properly nurtured, should breed success in the workplace as adults.  Another skill that children acquire, usually between the ages of 12 and 18 is the need “to be oneself (or not be); to share being oneself” (Slavin, 2009, p. 47).  Again this is according to Erik Erikson’s theory.  Learning individuality is extremely important for a child.  He or she needs to have a strong sense of self-esteem in order to appreciate their own uniqueness.  This appreciation of self can help the child not cave in to peer pressure and understand the importance of making good decisions for his or her own well-being.  As an adult, he or she will be faced with numerous decisions to make that sometimes have life-altering consequences attached to them.  With a strong sense of self, he or she will make the best decision for his or herself not one that is made for them by others.  Lastly, children need to feel comfortable and “have the ability to express emotions, to detect emotions in others, and to regulate (their) strong feelings when (he or she has) them.”  (Elias, 2009,

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