by Marijo Phelps

Created on: March 06, 2010   Last Updated: March 08, 2010

Atheist No More

Through a series of events that God had put together, this atheist of nine years found herself praying.  I was praying to the god I wasn't sure was really there.  Life was a mess. I was hurting those I professed to love. Drinking too much and making terrible choices.

My younger sister has changed tremendously.  I had to ask questions. I scoffed and poked fun at her but underneath that tough exterior I was thoughtful. As soon as I put her on the plane, I found myself at the Christian bookstore getting the book on Bible prophesy she recommended.

Three weeks after reading the book, my husband and I had gone for a walk in a nearby park.  I was crying but instead of release, the tears felt muddy as they dribbled down my face. Life was a tangled snarl and I was even more tangled..

Later that day, I found myself getting ready for work, taking a bath and talking out loud, to god, IF he was there.  I needed help.

“I've made a wreck of my life.  If you're there, I need you to forgive me and to have you take over.” This went on for some time. I am not sure what I expected, but nothing “weird” happened.  I felt calm and peaceful, like a huge boulder in a backpack was lifted off my shoulders.

“Hey, are you OK in there, you've been in there an hour and a half now?” questioned my husband.

It was then I realized I was sitting in a bathtub filled with stone cold water. But I felt free for the first time ever in my life.

There was a born again nurse's aide at work. I spoke with her much.  I began to read the Bible.  I still had so many questions:  How did I know this was really the literal Word of God? How could I believe every word? What was just “good stories” and what was real?

Did you really inspire these writers? Is every word literal? Can I trust this book?

I found myself reading in the Old Testament and came across Isaiah 40:22:

“It is he who sits above the circle of the earth, and its inhabitants are like grasshoppers; who stretches out the heavens like a curtain, and spreads them like a tent to dwell in.” (RSV)

Then it “popped into my head” that when we studied history “in 1492 when Columbus sailed the ocean blue” they all thought if he went too far, he'd sail OFF the edge of the earth, this scripture was written way before Columbus.  Yet, whoever inspired this writing knew the earth was a circle and it sounded like

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