by Ted Sherman

Created on: March 05, 2010   Last Updated: March 07, 2010

Here are ten absolutely foolproof ways to impress your boss. Let’s not just call it sucking up or playing teacher’s pet when you want to get that promotion or a heavier paycheck. We’ll call it smart strategy to get that mean old skinflint to dance to your tune.

1. Be cheerful and cooperative. That sounds so basic, it shouldn’t have to be said. However, many employees have been so brainwashed by the anti-social norms crammed into their young skulls since they were teens, they bring that snotty, rebellious attitude to work with them. They believe a smile shows weakness, and any sign of cooperation is giving in to the capitalist enemy. If that’s your lousy attitude, quit, pick up a sign and go protest march somewhere. If you want to impress your boss, do your job with your best efforts and a positive attitude.

2. Show up on time. Forget excuses that the alarm clock was broken or the freeway traffic was jammed. Whatever it takes, be there when you’re supposed to be there. The boss is sure to notice that you’re reliable and have a keen sense of responsibility.

3. Think before you do something that could get you into trouble with your boss. If you and some pals decide to take a two-hour lunch break, you should realize the boss won’t like it. If the boss calls a meeting and throughout the session, you sit in the back dozing off or schmoozing with others, you can expect some flak from the boss.

4. Always look for ways to improve your knowledge and performance. Do some heavy and ongoing homework about your company, its history, products/services and employee structure. When the boss questions you about any of those factors, you’ll be able to speak with intelligence and knowledge. Your smarts and initiative will certainly impress the boss.

5. If you’re required to work with others on projects or specific assignments, show by example that you’re the best member of the team. You don’t need to lord it over everyone else, just impress your boss that you’re the most productive and reliable in the gang. This could bug the hell out of all the other ambitious characters, but just do your job and you’ll be sure to shine to the people who count.

6. If you work for a big company, a major government agency or are in the Armed Forces, you must show respect for rank. They all have very strict pecking orders, and you may not like saluting a kid right out of college who outranks you. However, if you want

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