by Gabby Bugwadia

Created on: March 05, 2010   Last Updated: October 24, 2010

Your teenager is an important person; make every effort to let him/her know this. Provide plenty of unconditional love and the rest is bound to come naturally. Soon, you would be all set to bond with your teenager who is already on the threshold of adulthood.  

Bonding is the core element of parenting. All parents want nothing better than to build a healthy relationship with their teens. Through all the developmental stages, parents want to have maximum cooperation and minimum conflicts with their children. In short they would like nothing better than to make sure that their children grow up to be decent, considerate and responsible contributing members of the family, society and the world at large.

Unfortunately today, the current scenario is not very conducive. The 21st century teens have fast changed from their earlier counterparts; a noticeable difference is perceived in their behavior and views. Once as kids, they were cooperative and accessible. Now suddenly parents find them remote, rebellious and even rude-which oft make them wonder: “What could have gone wrong?” Parents are often plagued with the hazard of strained relationship with their teen.

 As children grow, their needs and attitudes change which make this period a difficult one for both the parents and their teen. Conflicts are bound to arise unless we change our perceptions of teens and our role as parents. Although parenting styles may differ, all parents want and very much expect the same things from their children. Flexibility in changing our parental attitude which includes ability in knowing what is important, what is trivial and what truly matters can go a long way in building a good relationship with teens.

The important question therefore follows: How should parents effectively bond with their teenager? Let us look closely at some specific practical ways you can use to  bond with your teenager:

~ Practice balanced control

Strategies which worked well in the earlier years can now become ineffective as parents realize that peer approvals matter more than their own approval. All parental opinions, limits and values which were once respected, tend to be challenged. To discourage your teen from resorting to tactics like whining, pouting, screaming and withdrawal and possible rebellion parents would do well to have a balanced control while tactfully tackling power issues. This means that parents simply don't have to make teens lose in order to win.

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