by Kim Whitten

Created on: March 05, 2010   Last Updated: March 06, 2010

Love is a feeling.  Saying I Love You does not make it real.

I can say I love you to a friend when they say or do something funny, I can say it to my dog when he looks at me with those soft brown eyes. I can say it to the next door neighbour when they have just done something that I really appreciate.My Mother-In-Law finishes every phone call with I Love You and I reply byrote I Love You Too.

When myeight year old son is talking to me and forgets what he was going to say or has to think about what he is saying he says "I Love You Mummy". Don't get me wrong I would never stop him from saying it however sometimes I'm sure that he uses it the same way some people say Ummmm.

I know of a child who has been brought up with aggression that is followed by "But you know I Love You".  This has meant that he now pushes his friends around (but only because he loves them).

I really believe that "actions" speak louder than words.

Don't tell me you love me and then yell at me because you are in a bad mood with somebody you work with. Don't criticise everything that I do and then in the next breath say "I Love You". Don't tell me you love me and then expect me to reply immediately I love you too just to make you feel better. Sometimes the love is there but I don't like you very much and I don't want to feel that I have to lie and say "I Love You" because right now, I DON'T.

I would prefer my significant other, give me a hug when he walks past me, touch my hand when we are sitting at the table, give me a special smile that is just for me and save the I Love You for the times when it is bursting from him. If it is not bursting from him then he probably doesn't need to say anything. There is a difference between "I Love You" when you are really feeling it, and "I Love You" when you think "Oh! I don't think I told my significant other that I love him today, I had better say it".

It really comes back to Love is a feeling and should only be shared when the feeling is so strong that you just can't control it.

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