Parents have a profound responsibility; it is primarily their actions that can influence their children. However, the nature of influence is critical for the optimal development of children. As a concerned nurturer you would certainly not want to leave it to chance, but make sure that your actions influence your children in positive ways. Can this be done?
Yes, taking full responsibility as a parent is the core element that can enable you to adjust your focus on your attitude and actions; it is these that can leave an indelible mark on your children’s future. Also by formulating a success plan and tapping your child's potential to the fullest extent, you can influence your child in myriad of positive ways. You, as parents can be the greatest positive influence in inspiring and lighting up your children's lives.
Here are some guidelines to help you in the process:
* Teach by Example
Remember, children learn best from the examples you set. Be a good role model; try to model the best aspects of human nature to your children. The choice and tone of words you use and the behavior and actions you demonstrate can be the single greatest determinant on how your child will develop as an adult. Remember parents, without you knowing it, you are continuously being watched, listened to and emulated by your children.
* Give Time
Make sure to spend as much of quality time with your child as possible-no matter how busy you may be. You keen interest and involvement, is important in understanding your child's complex needs. Show your genuine interest by listening carefully to what your child is trying to convey. Respond to your child's emotional needs with productive conversations.
* Set moral standards
A child primarily learns good work ethics from his parents. Setting strong moral standards is the key to good parenting. Your child's character can be formed based on your teaching your child the importance of adhering to moral principles. The essential core values like honesty, integrity, kindness and compassion can be incorporated into the family lifestyle-making sure you follow the same code of conduct and moral standards you have set for your child.
* Show Respect
Respect is the foundation for a loving long-term relationship. You can earn your child’s respect by being respectful to him. Accepting your child "as is" will help your child positively and build his self-confidence and self-esteem. Never belittle your child and always have empathy for his feelings. Avoid judging or criticizing your child with words like "your laziness is detestable." An outburst of parental anger, verbal abuse or manipulation is unacceptable and damaging to a child's ego.
* Entrust Responsibility
Responsibility empowers the child. The core element to influencing your child positively is to entrust responsibility on your child’s shoulders. Let your child know that he is responsible for his actions and hence needs to face the consequences of his behavior. Communicating, expressing limits to behavior while negotiating the best alternatives can be more effective than demands and threats.
* Enforce Discipline
Parental control entails enforcing discipline. Home is the best place where your child can be taught to abide by the rules. Insist on your child sharing household duties, refrain from using foul language and put a firm taboo on late night partying and day-time sleeping or excessive use of television, internet or telephone. "Tough love" can have a greater positive impact on your child's life than all the cajoling and reasoning put together.
* Share Fun activities
Creating fun activities to share with the entire family can significantly influence your child's life in positive ways. Offer your child the many splendored joys of meaningful family traditions. Share the joys of simplistic pleasures over materialistic pursuits. Enjoy enriching and rewarding experiences with your child. Let your child imbibe love of God's bounty by encouraging family picnics in the park amidst the marvels of Nature.
* Conclusion
Parents, who stand committed to putting their child first and following up with appropriate actions, seldom fail. By working steadily towards your goal, you can make sure that your actions influence your child in positive ways-molding him into a happy, independent and productive member of the society and the world.
Sources:
Parenting Preteens with a Purpose-Navigating the middle years by Kate Thomsen, M.S., C.A.S.
Parenting with purpose by Robert Reasoner and Mary Lane