by Connie Goranson

Created on: March 04, 2010   Last Updated: March 05, 2010

Mom’s Message to Me

Life is eternal.  I truly believe that.  People who have died can communicate with us, albeit much differently than when they were alive. If you are aware of little nuances, the messages are there.

My mother died when I was an adolescent. It was, and continues to be, the most traumatic event of my life. I felt so cheated.  Why did she have to die when others had their mothers?  Trying to make sense of her death was futile.  She was gone, and my world fell apart.  I longed to know that she still loved me. After going through the stages of grief that took many years, I realized that her love for me was unchanged. When I came to a certain acceptance, wonderful things began to happen.

For years, I would dream of Mom but feel depressed upon awakening. She never looked like herself and the mannerisms of my 'dream mother' didn't fit Mom's personality.  

The prophetic dream came much later. I was standing in a field, alone. The colors were indescribable. The greenness of the grass reminded me of The Emerald City in The Wizard of Oz, but I was there.  I could smell the grass, feel the softness and crispness under my feet, hear the wind whistling gently by me, and feel the warm sun and its comforting glow.

Someone was walking toward me, but I couldn't distinguish a face.  I began walking in that direction. As we got closer, I realized it was my beloved mother. Her smile beamed as her face came into view. The love I felt from her gentle smile will stay with me forever. Her beautiful chestnut brown hair curled softly just below her earlobes as it had in life. Her green eyes twinkled. She had that look of love, pride, and mischief I knew so well. We were mother and daughter but also, friends. I missed that special feeling for so, so long. Now I felt it, stronger than before.

It took her six years to become pregnant with me; she told me when I was old enough to understand. She had waited for me, and I had waited for her. Time and space couldn't separate us ~ I finally understood.  I would always feel an ache in my heart when I thought about our serious talks, being silly together, watching her mentor my friends from tough backgrounds, and spending days window-shopping. Just having her be my Mom meant everything.  She was beauty and grace and I never wanted the dream to end.  She was my mother, and I wouldn't have chosen anyone else.  She wouldn't have chosen any other little girl. 

She reached out and hugged me, and I knew how much I had missed her hugs. She spoke, and her voice was as I had remembered. She told me that I had gone through some very tough times, but would have a happy life.  I do.  As much as I miss Mom, this dream was her talking to me from where she is now. 

Picking up pennies held special significance for me growing up, too.  It was one of the special little things Mom and I did.  She'd say, "Pick up a penny for luck."  She wasn't a superstitious person, but picking up pennies cemented a bond for us.  It was fun.  Now, I see them everywhere.  If I'm having a tough day or have an important meeting, test, or personal goal, I'll find pennies in the most peculiar places.  It may be that I'm feeling happy and thinking about her.  A penny will be there.  It's never a nickel or a dime ~ it's always a penny.  Mom is telling me that she is forever my mother and mentor.  Others have talked about getting 'pennies from heaven'.  I receive them, too, and it's worth a million dollars.

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