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ever, NO. He instead rationalized it and when it took over his life the SHAME he claimed to feel was not quite enough to keep him from maintaining any length of clean time.
He was a passive aggressive partner, never having the courage to confront any relationship that was not working. He "fired" band members by not calling them, never being able to have the decency of a man, to say that things were not working.
He had the audacity to say that he would one day join the club of Jimi, Janice and Jim who died at 27 by various means. He must then have thought himself a peer to these musicians and wanted nothing more than to imitate the fall of the greatest musical minds, so that he would then be lumped with them, as society inevitably did. Please note, Jimi died of an ACCIDENTAL overdose and was NEVER a heroine junkie. The rest all suffered similar fates. They did not stick a shotgun in their mouths and pull the trigger, while simultaneously ODing on an extreme amount of Heroin. They, I might add did not have a wife and new baby that loved them and that were left forever wondering why Daddy ate his shotgun. They never left a note to loved ones, and to FANS.
The note. If you are so disgusted by this fame, why apologize to the fans, why make any excuses at all? Manipulation at its best and worst. Let's not forget that he left Courtney Love to take the brunt of the anger and responsibility for his suicide. Did anyone know she never used a needle before she met Curt? Somehow though, she was Yoko and blamed for all his torture. HA I say, that is the biggest lie ever because he was the one who almost destroyed her.
OK so it is probably clear that I have some strong feelings about the man I thought was a sensitive soul too good for this earth. He was never any of that. What he was was, a user, a whiner, a self indulgent dictator, insecure, fake, orchestrator of all the events around him. He was a pathological LIAR and he did this all to make himself look good. Did he care what people said about him? More than anything else, it was his reason for being. Was he too sensitive for the world and therefore needed to SHOOT HIMSELF IN THE HEAD because it was better for Frances to live without a father. PLEASE, what a joke. He was however the most selfish celebrity I have ever had the chance to read about in detail. HE WAS A PUSSY, A FRAUD and DID NOT DESERVE THE CULT STATUS, FOR HE WAS NEVER DESERVING OF IT.
It is rare that I have such an intense response to an individual who's art I had admired. Reading about Jimi, John Lennon and others I came away with a greater love and understanding of these icons. But in the case of Nirvanas Front man I come away disenchanted, angry and with the feeling I was led on. And in fact I was because when Curt lived he did everything to make himself the tragic hero, he knew he would never be. Shame on him for such manipulation. Shame on him for being so excruciatingly selfish as to destroy so many lives around him with no regard for their needs. Shame on me for believing the HYPE.
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