by Todd Daigneault

Created on: March 03, 2010   Last Updated: March 04, 2010

Relationships fail over a variety of reasons.  But some of the more significant reasons can include jumping into a relationship way too fast...or way too soon after the breakup of a previous relationship.  The last one is fairly common in our society.  We all want to be in love, whether we say we are or not: the air smells sweeter, the colors and sounds are more enhanced: we see nothing but endless possibilities that all lead to dreams being fulfilled and wishes granted.  It is like being transported to a magic garden-just out of the periphery of vision-but startlingly apparent to all in love.  After all, the emotion known as 'love' can be a tonic, an elixir that saturates every cell, and all of the subatomic particles that compose it.  So, essentially, jumping into a relationship for some means to be magically transported to that magic garden...

Some people cannot tolerate being alone too long.  To be out of the mystical, magical garden is to be transported into an uncertain, dark and recessive place, full of cold and fear.  They rush headlong into a relationship, after a failed one, never taking the time to properly take stock of the first one and deal with the emotional apocalypse that surrounded the first one.  Without at least enough time to recover, jumping headlong into another relationship, whether it's for love-or just to have somebody else to get over the first one: love inspired, or not-usually leads to a breakdown of the second relationship.  Without a significant base to build upon a relationship, the relationship is usually doomed.  It can be intense, but burn our like a sun gone supernova, leaving both partners emotionally exhausted....and without a relationship again.

Therefore, a little bit of time in between is an absolute necessity to regroup, restore and reinvigorate one's self, and more importantly, one's perspective.  Rushing into a relationship too fast is equally as devastating.  Without taking the necessary time to get to know each other and build upon a foundation of trust, belief and structure in a relationship, ultimately the relationship simply may not survive.  There can be intense sex and orgasms, kissing, petting and hand-holding.  But like rushing into a relationship way too soon after a breakup-there simply is no foundation to build upon.

Relationships also fail out of breakdowns in communications, mistrust, jealousy, domineering by one or the other partner.  Real or illusory events that trigger jealousy can easily doom a relationship.  These events can escalate into major domestic battles that may pass and come back again and again until the relationship is over.  Cheating does happen many times in relationships.  Sometimes, it can be more subtle, like a married (or together partner) kissing or feeling somebody else.  It can also be more substantial.  Whatever the reasons, partners should monitor their relationships as closely as possible, and try and devote more quality time to each other.  Something that is not always possible with work, family, friends and the such. 

But can ultimately be one of the strong keys to saving a relationship.

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