by Bola Essien-Nelson

Created on: March 02, 2010   Last Updated: March 07, 2010

Yesterday I sent an sms to my mighty good man a.k.a. my husband. I said I wished we spoke more. And I wished we had a lot more in common. And I wished we saw eye to eye on more things BUT that inspite of all of that, I have realised that I would not want any other man in my life. He was 'The One'. And I knew in my heart that this was my truth. I loved this man. Even when he made me so mad I wanted to kill him!

So you see, being in love to me, means coming to that place where you still find yourself loving a person IN SPITE of all the things you DONT love about them. I have known my husband for ever. OK, well maybe not for ever but its feels that way. I met him when we were in university. I was this fat chubby girl and he was James Bond. Literally. He started going out with me on a dare or to win a bet if you like. Need I say more? But God has always loved me so God made sure he fell in love with me as punishment for that. God's revenge is sweeter! Ha!

Anyway, when was the seed of the love I feel today planted? Way back then on a bus. Yes on a bus back from Ile-Ife, a sleepy university town in the South of my country. I had run there in a panic. In a haze. I had been the victim of  my own bad judgement. I needed comfort. I needed soothing. I needed my boyfriend. And I travelled a thousand kilometres to find him. To get what I needed. And when I got to Ife. I knew I was right. He was just what I needed. He comforted me. He soothed me. He gave me hope.When it was time to go back to school, I cried. I felt so open to the elements. He sensed it I believe and there and then he made a choice. He chose to 'escort' me all the way back to school! He bought a ticket for himself and promptly boarded the bus with me. You see that moment right there? When he sat down next to me on that bus? That's when I fell in love for good with this my mighty good man. For me, he had, in that  one singular act, sealed my fate.

Over the years, I forgot about that day on the bus and let life stifle my love.  I let 'stuff' get in the way and I began to believe that my love had gone away. But thankfully it had not. Cos love, to me, means being able to look over the hurt and the pain and the years of misunderstanding and miscommunication and bring yourself over to a new place. A place of unconditional acceptance born out of the pure, agape love of God. You see I truly believe that I would not love this man they way I do , had I not the love of Christ in my heart. For me to be able to accept God''s unconditional love, I must be willing to give it. And the first person I have learned to give this unconditional love to is my husband. Being in love with him the way that I am right now, after all these years, is only possible because I love God more.

Yes, being in love, for me, means seeing my husband, the way God does, through the eyes of grace. So even when my own love is not enough, the love of God in me takes over and God's love is ALWAYS enough.

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