by Chloe Shearer

Created on: March 01, 2010

I ironed over the final crease in my light blue pin-striped shirt, trying – but failing – to ignore the dread that was consuming me.

Parties had never been my thing, the crowds, the dancing, the girls. Oh the girls.

This party was going to be like every other. Right before I stepped through the door I would indulge myself in some wishful thinking on how the night would turn out. I would picture a soft, sweet, nameless girl with just that right amount of shy and that perfect dash of understated sexy. And I would imagine her walking towards me and her first words as they tumbled out of full, red lips.

But there was never a soft, sweet, nameless girl with just that right amount of shy and that perfect dash of understated sexy. There was never any girl for that matter.

               

I switched off the iron and pulled my shirt on, sliding my arms into the sleeves. I buttoned up the little white buttons slowly. With each button a new wave of anxiety washed over me and I could feel my palms already sweating.

               

The long mirror attached to the back of my door didn’t help my anxiety. As I studied my reflection all I could see was the small beads of sweat that were already forming on my forehead. And that brown hair that flicked out at the back of my head despite my efforts to tame it. And the small bulge of my shirt where my stomach was not as flat as I wished.

               

I gulped and frantically wiped the sweat from my forehead, flattened my hair and sucked in my gut. Turning from the mirror I grabbed some aftershave and liberally sprayed the liquid three times. I sighed and cast one more cursory glance in my mirror – regretting it instantly – and left my room, switching the light off as I went.

               

The rest of my house was silent as I made my way down the stairs. I mentally thanked the gods that I wouldn’t have to undergo my mother’s scrutinising glare before I left. Being the only boy in my family proved to be a curse more than a blessing.

               

I stepped outside, letting the cool air wash over me. I had decided

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